08/05/2015
Men explore the confusing world of beauty products.

Words by

Veronica Stanford

The list of beauty products/techniques/equipment on the market is completely endless.

In a world where many members of the population are spending their cash in an effort to change their appearance, we thought we would quiz the male gender, to see how much they know about what are traditionally female objects/hairstyles/beauty products.

We also thought it would be funny.

We asked five men to define highlighter, primer, toner, fish tail braid, threading, BB cream, tinted moisturiser and an epilator. The results? Kind of hilarious.

Highlighter

Matt: Hair Colour.

Michael E: Defines features on your face.

Luke: Like a highlighter pen for your eyelids? Use it to highlight the part of your face that’s really important or that you don’t want to forget.

Michael C: run it through parts of hair for a lighter colour, for a more natural look I guess.

Keats: Stationary item that comes in handy when you are ordering your make up. Used to 'highlight' the product and colour that you need to make yourself beautiful.

Primer

Matt: Something you use underneath your makeup.

Michael E: Some sort of cream that goes on the face. My guess is before you apply make up.  

Luke: Pretty sure this something you put on before your make up? Like how you do an undercoat of varnish or something.

Michael C: Strips existing dye out of hair so the new dye job will hold. Actually I think that might be a make-up thing as well, prepares skin for other make-up…maybe. 

Keats: It's a little button on a lawnmower/whipper snipper that you push repetitively to get petroleum through to the motor. Not sure how it's relevant here, do girls put petroleum on their faces? That's gross/hot.

Riccardo: A base makeup, like foundation.

Toner

Matt: Something you do in the gym.

Michael E: Blends make-up to have a consistent tone.  

Luke:  Another one for the face – maybe blends your skin colour out? No wait, it’s for cleaning skin, right?

Michael C: Used to make gross yellow bleached hair more blond or platinum.

Keats: You put toner on your cheeks to give them tone maybe. Also can be used in printers/photocopiers.

Riccardo: Some form of makeup that makes you look darker.

Fish tail Braid

Matt: Hair Braid that ends up looking like a fish tail

Michael E.: The braid that Elsa from Frozen rocks.

Luke: That sounds gross.

Michael C: Not sure...big braid using almost all the hair that sits behind head, going thick to thin, making a fish tail shape? Seems logical.

Keats: When you braid two lengths of hair into one length of hair, also known as broomstick braid.

Riccardo: Another name for a mermaid plait.

Threading

Matt:  When you’re wearing schmick clothes, that means you’re threading.

Michael E.: Shaping eyebrows with some string.

Luke: Something girls do at sleepovers after watching Heartbreak High, I think.

Michael C: When you get sewn in hair extensions.... maybe.

Keats: When you pull a thread through the eye of a needle so you can stitch your garments back together/sticth punx patches on the back of punx jackets. 


Riccardo: Eyebrow hair removal by using a thread of string.

BB cream

Matt: BlackBerry Cream.

Michael E.: I have never heard of it.

Luke: Isn’t it just foundation with a different, dumber name?

Michael C: Is that just moisturizing face cream? Anti-aging cream? Something like that.

Keats: Helps cover those unsightly bbs.

Riccardo: A cream (obviously) that must do something to benefit your BB (bad breath?) 

Tinted moisturiser:

Matt: Nicer word for light fake tan.

Michael E: A type of liquid foundation.

Luke: This is moisturiser for the ‘multicultural’ among us.

Michael C: Hybrid foundation/moisturizer kind of thing. I guess a lot of people would use it for a slight fake tan...'for that healthy glow'.

Keats: Moisturiser with the added benefit of preventing people from being able to see your face.

Riccardo: cream that evens out dry skin and gives you a healthy glow.

Epilator:

Matt: Shaving device that plucks the hairs out of your legs.

Michael E: Sounds like a type of shaver.

Luke: A nightmare machine that pulls hair out. I’m pretty certain Freddy Kruger turned into one of these in Nightmare on Elm St 3.

Michael C: No idea.

Keats: Small and very scary hair removal machine with tiny claws.

Riccardo: Sounds kind of like an electric pen or some electric tool for your face.

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