02/05/2017
The jig is up.

Words by

Alyce Cowell

I’ll be the first to admit that trends are fun. Every season, they’re a breath of fresh air in an otherwise boring, endless landscape of denim and basic tees. Without trends, fashion would be nothing. Fashion would just be… clothes.

Whether you’re an open fashion victim or a self-proclaimed non-conformist, it doesn’t matter – we all give in to trends. 

Some go viral and last for decades (skinny jeans) and some are questionable and short-lived (hair mascara). Then there are some that are kinda ratchet and not all that flattering, but go and become a big ol’ worldwide epidemic anyway. 

Blame it on the Kardashians, or blame it on the ’gram, but somehow these six trends fell through the cracks. 

Birkenstocks 

I’m just gonna come right out and say it: Birkenstocks are the third ugliest shoe ever created, preceded only by bedazzled Crocs and kitten heel thongs. 

At the end of the day, they’re an orthopaedic sandal made for middle-aged men to wear with socks and a money belt while travelling through Europe, and we need to let them go immediately. 

Mom jeans 

Honestly, who other than Kendall Jenner looks good in mom jeans? 

The problem is right there in the title: they are actually designed to make you look like a mum from 1994. Not an early '90s supermodel, like the highly-styled denim campaigns would have you believe. 

They want to give you a flat butt. And I don’t know about you, but I just don’t need that sort of negativity in my life.

Feminist tees

Protest fashion is officially trending, both via our wardrobes and in online conversation. We were recently warned about jumping on the bandwagon and told that feminism is not a fashion statement, and it seems everyone has opposing views. 

Are we wearing tees that tote our support for feminism because it’s truly an issue we stand for, or because Topshop sells them now? Does it matter why we’re wearing it, if it’s raising awareness along the way? You decide.

Fishnets 

There are some things in life that are made for the online realm and unfortunately, just don’t translate off the screen. For example, have you ever seen a Youtube beauty blogger in real life?????? It’s truly terrifying.  

Fishnets are another textbook case of how the ’gram can spark a trend. Now, we’re suddenly dusting off our fishnets from our 18th birthday ‘sexy cop’ costume and layering them under everything from ripped boyfriend jeans to slip-on mules. 

File this one under: trends we’re gonna be hating on in a decade

Thrasher merch 

The fight against Thrasher becoming an unsolicited fashion statement is not a new one. 

Earlier this year, Thrasher got balls deep in a lawsuit with Forever 21 for straight up stealing their logo. All while millions of 19-year-old girls were wearing their merch, oblivious to the fact it was not just a sick slogan tee but also an iconic skate mag they’d never heard of. 

Not one for mainstream popularity, the editor of Thrasher also denied sending product to celebrities most likely in charge of fuelling the trends, telling Hypebeast: “we don’t send boxes to Justin Bieber or Rihanna or those f***ing clowns.” LOL.

See also: band tees.

Gucci 

Sure, it might’ve opened in 1921 but it’s never been hotter than right now, thanks to a sh*tload of rap lyric shoutouts from the likes of Jay Z, Future and Lil Wayne. Not to mention Gucci Mane, which I’m fairly sure is not his actual name. While researching this topic, I found 11 hip-hop songs alone that mention Gucci flip-flops.

From the logo to the fur-lined loafers, the world has gone Gucci-crazy, and something tells me it’s not because we've always been fans.

Can’t afford the real thing? That’s cool. There are knock-offs in pretty much every chain store now, too, where you can pick up any or all of the above trends. 

Illustration by Twylamae who is also cool on Instagram.

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