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17/03/2017
#fashun.

Words by

Bianca O'Neill

When you attend runways at fashion week, you see all the small details – glitter lips here, a sleeve length there – and you get a much better picture of the designer’s intentions than if you simply trawled through the limited front-only press shots.

But, you also get a front row seat (or second row, as the case may be) to witness all the weird shit that goes down the runway too.

A lot of people wax lyrical about seeing the National Graduate Showcase for something different (and don’t get me wrong, I’m one of those people) but this week at VAMFF the designers threw some pretty wacky micro-trends down the runway. Like couture gardening gloves.

In fact, that’s our first weird micro trend, so onwards!

Couture gardening gloves: For when you want to prove that you’re still down to earth and don’t make the staff do everything. But also, you don’t want to get your hands dirty.

Hugh Hefner chic: It’s 2017, feminism was bound to eventually come to this.

I have nothing to wear except for this festival poncho: Well, you never know what the weather is going to be like in Melbourne, so you may as well layer it over your cocktail dress.

Look, I killed this animal and carried it back all by myself: Also known as ‘this isn’t real fur, even though it looks 100 per cent like a dead animal when I’m carrying it thrown over my shoulder'.

A silver screen movie star whose rich billionaire husband just died: In other words, life goals.

I just had boob surgery and I turned it into fashun: Why feel embarrassed by that boob strapping when you can just turn it into a chic ’90s-referencing ensemble?

Re-enacting the curtain scene from The Sound of Music: Except this time with the red velvet drapes from The Princess Theatre. Do you think they’ll notice? Maybe I’ll add a matching hat to disguise myself.

I want a speaking part in the new Star Wars so bad: So I’ll just turn up in this female Darth Vader robe, that ought to do it.

Sailor Moon cosplay: When everyone’s going boaty, you go Boaty McBoatface.

Justin Bieber is in town. I know, I’ll dress just like him: The disturbing thing is, you don’t even need to change genders. Is it too late now to say sorry (for this joke?)

If this is where we are on day three, imagine what’s to come for this weekend’s National Graduate Showcase runway. I, for one, am thrilled.

Follow Bianca’s journey to become micro-trend #5 over at @_thesecondrow

Photography: 
Bianca O'Neill

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