12/02/2016
Us Y-chromosomer’s are falling behind the times.

Words by

Luke Forester

I realise men don’t exactly have the hardest time when it comes to life. So don’t worry, my tongue is planted firmly in cheek when I complain. When it comes to fashion, us Y-chromosomer’s are falling behind the times.

Working for Fashion Journal, I find myself one of only a handful of men in the office. And there are a number of sartorial fashion choices I’d love to cross over/adopt:

Nail polish

Now, I’m not a super conservative guy who has never heard the concept of men wearing nail polish. In certain circles, this is a thing already. But I want options! It’s somehow acceptable to wear black in a goth/punk-y sort of way, but what about the cute pastel shellac nails that match my sneakers?

How do I hide my horrible cuticles with a glossy sheen that makes everyone think “I take care of my hands”? Don’t even get me started on patterns or I might get a little feisty.

Formless Gorman Sacks

We’ve had a hot summer this year. I hate to be petty but during the blistering heat I found myself envious of my female colleagues, who would sashay into the office in what can really only be described as a the trendy persons muumuu. The cute Gorman prints were just the icing on the cake.

I death stare across the room, as I can imagine the comfort and air flow afforded by basically wearing a sack to work. The closest us males get is those awful deep cut singlets, which are nowhere near being acceptable in an office environment. Unless you work at Stereosonic, I guess.

Handbags

As a man, I have three options when it comes to bags: backpack, satchel or nothing. As much as I love my backpack – it tends to make me look either like I’m still in high school or like a potential shop lifter. I don’t have much to say about satchels. Nobody does, they’re that bland.

I look forward to the day where, before heading out on the town, I can scan my collection of various handbags and pick one that is appropriately sized for the amount of junk I plan to carry with me, unencumbered by the classic backpack.

Foundation/BB Cream

Why must blemishes and generally uneven skin tone be a visual representation of masculinity? The basic food pyramid at the FJ office consists of salt and vinegar chips with coke zero at the base and an assortment of sugary/chocolate snacks on top. It’s not exactly the ideal diet for the perfect complexion. So when I break out, there’s no hiding it.

Envy levels hit a peak when I learnt about BB Cream, which doesn’t even sound that feminine to begin with! Just whack a Lynx logo onto the tube, make it black like all the other male ‘beauty’ products and shaped vaguely like a punching fist. Then can I cover up my pimples?

So, universe, will the male identity crumble if any of the above were to become acceptable? I highly doubt so. But I realise trends don’t just start themselves. So next time you see a man in a sack with a sweet handbag, spotless skin and co-ordinated nails – give me a pat on the back. I’m just trying to make a difference.

Leave a comment

Related

We've come a long way since the old suit and tie.
While stocks last.
Quality leather for quality guys.
A good option for accessorising yourself or yo’ man.
It’s pronounced ‘vet-Mahn’ and it’s now here for men.
And the world is suddenly better dressed.
One to put on your Christmas list.
Simple by name and by nature.
Horn-rimmed glasses and leather shoes.
Breaking ground one man bag at a time.
The accessories you need in your life.
Street culture vibes, yes please
The newest label to hit the streets.
Boys and girls like girls who dress like boys.
Pioneering wearable ponchos and leopard print for men.
All about that Lower East Side.
Not for the faint at fashion-heart.
2014 has been a pretty ripper year for music, seeing the emergence of new (and incredible) artists, the continuing domination of...
For men who seriously know how to dress.
It's been a pretty spectacular year on the catwalk.
Polyvore's most popular this year.
Tumblr's most popular models of this year.
A feminist clothing line inspired by Patti Smith and Tavi.
Superdry have released their latest lookbook.