07/02/2017
It seriously makes me question the term ‘influencer’.

Words by

Bianca O'Neill

I can’t get away from fishnets on Instagram at the moment and it’s driving me insane.

It’s just another stupid trend in a long line of stupid trends that only exist on Instagram. These people can’t possibly be wearing fishnets underneath their mom jeans, or pulled Harry High Pants-style over the top of their T-shirts like some kind of sexy Urkel stripper, IRL... right? And if they are, maybe we really need to start asking what it takes to be a ‘style blogger’.

It’s the perfect example of how micro-trends tend to go viral within an insular community like, say, all the people following the hashtag #bloggerau. Someone bangs a pair of fishnets under their ripped jeans, hashtags it and voilà! It’s all over the ’gram within a week like white on rice (or a blogger on freebies at the end of the night).

It seriously makes me question the term ‘influencer’. Perhaps we should change it to ‘influenced’?

Just like the ridic hair choker and the utterly inexplicable rise of fur slides, fishnets under pants (and over tops) is going to be one of those micro trends that disappears in the click of a finger. Remember backwards shirts? Where are they now. And shirts that were a foot longer than your hands? LOL.

And worse still, this whole Urkel-gone-fishing lewk is going to be an outfit you’ll definitely regret in ten years time. As someone who actually lived through the ’90s as a teen, trust me. 

Sure, HTT crushed velvet and a Natalie Imbruglia haircut on a moonface SEEMED like a good idea at the time. All the kids were doing it. So did I. Thank god the internet didn’t exist. (NB: Don’t google my Myspace unless you’re a fan of flying toaster gifs.)

I have one tip for the young’uns out there: don’t believe everything you see on Instagram. Firstly, these influencers may be being paid to tell you that something is good, when they’d never really be caught dead in it. (Srsly tho, how many people do you actually know who have BOUGHT detox tea. Like with MONEY.)

And secondly? It’s like attempting to emulate a Vogue editorial: that waif thin model looks amazing in Kermit green culottes paired with a rainbow fur coat and diamond-tipped Chewbacca slippers because #context. I’d wager you’re about to regret the sartorial use of Pantone’s colour of the year when you’re out for a coffee in it, surrounded by activewear.

And before all my *biggest fans* moan about me not supporting the weirdos out there, if you seriously think Instagram is real life you have bigger problems than me bitching about fishnets.

Be weird. Be different. Be authentic. Just don’t wear some stupid trend because a bunch of ‘influencers’ on Instagram are wearing it.

And lastly? Fishnets are never chic. Like, ever.

Follow Bianca’s #basicbitch journey in real clothes over at @_thesecondrow.

Illustration by Twylamae.

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