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Fashion trends I wish men could adopt

Us Y-chromosomer’s are falling behind the times.

I realise men don’t exactly have the hardest time when it comes to life. So don’t worry, my tongue is planted firmly in cheek when I complain. When it comes to fashion, us Y-chromosomer’s are falling behind the times.

Working for Fashion Journal, I find myself one of only a handful of men in the office. And there are a number of sartorial fashion choices I’d love to cross over/adopt:

Nail polish

Now, I’m not a super conservative guy who has never heard the concept of men wearing nail polish. In certain circles, this is a thing already. But I want options! It’s somehow acceptable to wear black in a goth/punk-y sort of way, but what about the cute pastel shellac nails that match my sneakers?

How do I hide my horrible cuticles with a glossy sheen that makes everyone think “I take care of my hands”? Don’t even get me started on patterns or I might get a little feisty.

Formless Gorman Sacks

We’ve had a hot summer this year. I hate to be petty but during the blistering heat I found myself envious of my female colleagues, who would sashay into the office in what can really only be described as a the trendy persons muumuu. The cute Gorman prints were just the icing on the cake.

I death stare across the room, as I can imagine the comfort and air flow afforded by basically wearing a sack to work. The closest us males get is those awful deep cut singlets, which are nowhere near being acceptable in an office environment. Unless you work at Stereosonic, I guess.

Handbags

As a man, I have three options when it comes to bags: backpack, satchel or nothing. As much as I love my backpack – it tends to make me look either like I’m still in high school or like a potential shop lifter. I don’t have much to say about satchels. Nobody does, they’re that bland.

I look forward to the day where, before heading out on the town, I can scan my collection of various handbags and pick one that is appropriately sized for the amount of junk I plan to carry with me, unencumbered by the classic backpack.

Foundation/BB Cream

Why must blemishes and generally uneven skin tone be a visual representation of masculinity? The basic food pyramid at the FJ office consists of salt and vinegar chips with coke zero at the base and an assortment of sugary/chocolate snacks on top. It’s not exactly the ideal diet for the perfect complexion. So when I break out, there’s no hiding it.

Envy levels hit a peak when I learnt about BB Cream, which doesn’t even sound that feminine to begin with! Just whack a Lynx logo onto the tube, make it black like all the other male ‘beauty’ products and shaped vaguely like a punching fist. Then can I cover up my pimples?

So, universe, will the male identity crumble if any of the above were to become acceptable? I highly doubt so. But I realise trends don’t just start themselves. So next time you see a man in a sack with a sweet handbag, spotless skin and co-ordinated nails – give me a pat on the back. I’m just trying to make a difference.

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