For those with champagne taste on a passion pop budget.

Words by

Tara Smith

Maybe you haven’t been as thrifty with your money as you promised you would be this year. Maybe you have debts to think about or maybe you simply have champagne taste on a passion pop budget. 

Whatever it is, we don’t blame you. The old adage ‘cash rules everything around me’ has never sounded quite so true. 

For our friends (us) with empty pockets and rising debts, we’ve devised the ultimate get-rich-quick scheme. While working hard for the money is rewarding, there’s nothing like saving by being an absolute tightass.

Follow in our footsteps and you’re sure to be laughing all the way to the bank.

Ditch the vodka lime sodas, take up drinking beer

It turns out beer is a helluva lot cheaper than your average watered-down vodka lime soda. Plus, you can enjoy twice as much beer than vodka for the same price. Who knew? While this might mean your liver will cop it and you’ll need to wear spanx every time you go out, you’ll be doing your wallet a huge favour. Speaking of livers…

Sell your organs on the black market

Who really needs that second kidney?  Alternatively, another much safer option is to sell your unwanted clothes online. Lucky for you, we’ve already mapped out how to make it rain by doing just that.

Milk the precious student discount for all it’s worth

God bless whoever created the student discount. Cafes, movie cinemas, public transport and travel are just some of the many discounted options you can access just for being a useless uni student. We suggest heading over to Unidays for an extensive list of just how many discounts you can score (hint: it’s a lot). Student lyf. It’s not all bad. 

Eat dumplings every night of the week

Everyone loves dumplings and most importantly they’re super cheap and filling. We’re talking $8 for 15 dumplings in Chinatown. You could feed an entire family on that much (almost).

Limit your drinking between 5-7pm

AKA happy hour. You can drink like a king for two hours and maybe even treat yourself to a vodka lime soda. There’s even a nifty little app that tells you the different happy hour specials around your capital city. You’re welcome.

Attend every Bunnings sausage sizzle

Sure, Bunnings sells tools and building supplies. But what they’re really known for is their sausage sizzles. Every weekend you can line your stomach while lining the pockets of the less fortunate. Gold coin donation? Delicious. 

If you have it in you, become the tightass friend

Not everyone has the stomach for it, but there’s usually a reason these people are tightasses. Maybe if you had been a little bit more like your tightass friend, you wouldn’t be in this predicament. But hey, we’re not judging.

Become Insta-famous

Turns out all that social media narcissism can be pretty lucrative. While Kendall Jenner is reportedly valued between $125,000 to $300,000 per insta post, a top fashion blogger can earn between $5,000 and $25,000. And you’re out there doing it for free. A couple hundred thousand followers is all it takes. 

Live at home for as long as you can

Moving out is a total sham. Living turns out to be one huge, ongoing expense, which I never really thought about at home. While freedom is great, it’s also pretty great not having to worry about bills and rent and all that adult stuff. I miss the days when Mum and Dad paid my way and I actually had savings. 

Frequent the FJ Sales Guide

Shameless plug, but we’re here to help. Why pay full price for items like a chump when you can get it for much less? You can thank us later for never missing a sale again. Fill out your details below and treat yourself with all that saving you’ve done, you’ve earned it.


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