I am writing to you after witnessing your Melbourne concert last night.
I wanted to begin by apologising to you. I don’t want to cause any ‘Bad Blood’ but for a long time there, I definitely fit into the group that would listen to “that indie record that’s much cooler than [yours]”. There was definitely a point in my life where I thought I was too cool for you.
My resolve started to falter around the time of your Red album. You drew me in with those damn catchy break-up tunes, and before I knew it you had weaselled your way into my life.
However, after last night’s performance, you left me wondering. There are several things I find confusing about you, and I’d like some answers.
Firstly, as a curly-haired sista, I want to know how you keep your hair straight throughout a two-hour sweaty dance fest. Is it chemically straightened? If so, how did you know it was the right time to commit? If not, is having short curly hair a frizzy issue on your day off? Would appreciate the advice.
Secondly, I think we can both agree that your transition into the pop music world has been seamless and incredibly successful. In saying this, how do you feel about abandoning your country roots? Why would you feel the need to turn ‘Love Story’ into a pop tune, and omit ‘You Belong With Me’ (possibly your greatest triumph) from your set? Don’t forget where you came from Tay. If Jenny can sing about being from the block, then you can sing your country tunes.
Thirdly, I want to address this whole girl squad deal. Great idea having Selena, Lena and co. coming onto the screen while you changed costumes, but their monologues left me seriously questioning these friendships. Do you really invite your friends over and make them listen to your album? That’s just weird Tay and I'm really starting to feel like this whole friend thing is not all that natural.
Fourthly, do you know you are an awkward dancer? I feel like your talents are strong enough, you play guitar, you slay the piano and you have a killer set of pipes on you. Let’s cut the other stuff. You are so endearing when you do those awkward head-bops but it’s really not passable for your whole ‘perfect pop princess' thing.
I guess with all of this I’m trying to say is, who are you Tay Tay? I feel now like I know you less than ever. You are a show stopping glittery princess but I just can’t quite work you out. I guess I should just ‘Shake It Off’…. Your songs will always hold a place in my heart. Awkward dance moves aside, your show was pretty damn killer.
Your doting and confused admirer, Veronica xx