15 things your group fitness instructor wants you to know

Stay sweaty out there, people.

In the crazy, crazy world of fitness, there’s a lot going on right now. 

From Lululemon Wunder Under Crops to kale-spirulina-gluten-free-pea-protein-black-magic-smoothies to Disco Yoga (yes, that one’s a real thing), there’s a lot to think about. 

Us group fitness instructors somehow manage to manage all that chaos, put it all together, chuck a microphone on it and give you one hell of a workout. We’re a unique breed (maybe a little bit crazy too). But for the most part, we’re pretty easy going and are always happy to help with your squats.  

Here’s a couple of points from your friendly neighbourhood group fitness instructor. Stay sweaty out there, people. 

  1. No matter how competent I seem, there’s a good chance I’m dying too (I’m not superhuman, unfortunately, but I am working on it)
  2. Re: the last point, my motto is generally fake it ’til you make it
  3. If I’m getting up at 5:30 for a 6am class, please don’t judge my outfit (you’re lucky if my socks match)
  4. I don’t do it for the money – I do it to pay off my Nike addiction
  5. I have as much workout gear as I do everyday wear and yes, I am ashamed
  6. Sometimes I forget to shave my legs, so please don’t look too close. There will probably (definitely) be stubble
  7. No I can’t sing, but yes I will sing along to the music over the microphone anyway
  8. I can see you hiding down the back behind the boxing bags
  9. Now is not the time to incorporate your Kayla Itsines/Ashy Bines/other Instagram Fitness Person moves. But I appreciate your enthusiasm
  10. Take a break if you need it, as long as you’re not chilling in the corner with a Doughnut Time Slim Shady (as much as I’d love to be doing exactly that, too)
  11. I know exactly what it feels like to be a newbie. To this day, I’m still too scared to go to a BodyAttack class
  12. There’s no such thing as a stupid question, except for maybe ‘Can I do this class in jeans?’ The answer is no, in case you were wondering.
  13. We’ve seen some pretty appalling technique and yours probably isn’t that bad
  14. I have my off days, because no one is actually *thrilled* to be working out every single day
  15. Same goes for cheat days (garlic bread and a choccy milkshake come at me)

And yes, it absolutely is the best job in the world.

(Except for Cadbury chocolate taster. A girl can dream.)

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