What do straight, cisgender men really think about pegging?

“I joke that being open to pegging – and other forms of anal play – makes me more sexually evolved, but I honestly think there’s a bit of truth to that.”

With the internet going bonkers for Prince William’s alleged love of anal play, I‘ve been thinking – how many cisgender, heterosexual (cishet) men feel ashamed about having an interest in pegging? According to my recent pegging-related internet rabbit hole (before you ask, yes, you do have to wade through a lot of porn to get to the facts), quite a few.

For those who are new here, pegging means penetrating someone anally using a strap-on. As Fashion Journal’s resident sex therapist Laura Miano explains, “Pegging typically describes a cishet woman wearing a strap-on dildo and having anal sex with a cishet male partner. It doesn’t have to fall into this binary, of course – anyone is welcome to peg or be pegged (consensually)”.

For more sex advice, head on over to our Life section.

For cishet men, pegging is a sexual act shrouded in stigma, jeered at by generations of men afraid of being perceived as anything less than super-straight. It’s particularly interesting because the male g-spot (aka the p-spot) is located in the rectum and is simply packed full of feel-good nerve endings. So what’s stopping the fellas from a little strap-on action?

According to my boyfriend, the answer is very simple. He was peacefully sleeping in when I rudely jolted him awake, demanding to know the answer to my burning question immediately. “Would you let me peg you?” I asked, using what he likes to refer to as my ‘outdoor voice’. “Probably not,” he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “I don’t want anything penis-shaped near my butthole.”

Aha! Just as we all suspected. Like many cishet-identifying males, my boyfriend has an aversion to the implied ‘gayness’ of allowing someone (me) to peg him. Yes, there might be other factors involved (the anal ick factor, pain, different sexual tastes and preferences) but so often they’re overshadowed by stigma. As Metro writer Olivia Cassano explains, “Anal pleasure for straight men has always been a taboo, partly due to this misguided, patriarchal idea of emasculation, and partly due to an ‘ew’ factor.”

In saying this, it’s never fair to pigeonhole people. I wanted to find out what the straight, cisgender men in the wider Fashion Journal community (a niche demographic, I’ll say that much) really thought about pegging. Through an anonymous Google Form, I acquired the answers I was looking for.

It’s important to acknowledge all four of these answers are from men who are relatively open to the idea of pegging, which is likely indicative of the progressive inner-north Melbourne bubble I live in. I understand a lot of people struggle to talk openly about sex, particularly in relation to more taboo topics. Read on as four Australian men explain their thoughts on pegging, stigma, rim jobs and more.

Garrett*, 23, dating

I don’t know if I’m fully into it but I think a rim job is really fun. For me, anal play is almost like a dirty secret. I think it’s important to recognise the interest so many men have to be more sexually open, particularly when it comes to sexual acts like pegging. We should try and have more open conversations about it instead of hiding our desires behind a door.

Mateo*, 36, married to a cishet woman

I’m all about it! The Broad City episode where Abbi pegs Jeremy definitely made the act of pegging easier to approach [for me]. I feel like it’s becoming less of a taboo topic, which is really cool. I joke that being open to pegging – and other forms of anal play – makes me more sexually evolved, but I honestly think there’s a bit of truth to that. Straight norms are definitely holding cishet men back. They’re holding us back from many things but in particular, just being able to fully explore our bodies and pleasure.

Josh*, 23, single

Pegging is awesome. It’s so much fun and my experiences with it have made me want to explore more in my sex life. I don’t really understand the whole stigma around pegging and anal play. So far, it’s epic.

Frankie*, 26, in a relationship

I love pegging! My partner also loves it and it’s a regular part of our sex life. I’m incredibly lucky to be surrounded by a network of friends who don’t judge or get weird about other people’s sexual interests (as long as it’s all consensual, obviously). I’ve had a unique experience because I’ve never had to think twice about stigma. I acknowledge the rarity of these circumstances and I am so thankful I don’t have to feel any shame. Cishet men who are against non-traditional sex need to grow up and get pegged.

*Names have been changed

For more on the stigma around pegging, head here.