18/02/2016
Haaaalp.

Words by

Rebecca Russo

There’s no denying that Sundays are the best day of the week. You get to sleep in, no one’s knocking down your door for an early morning spin class and there’s really no judgement when you spend the majority of the day watching Netflix and eating three-day-old pizza. 

That is unless you get invited to Sunday brunch. 

For whatever reason, making Sunday brunch plans on a Thursday afternoon always sounds like a good idea. But when reality hits on Sunday morning and you’re still feeling a little dusty from the night before, you realise you may have just made one big, huge mistake.

Don’t worry, we got you. Here are six hot tips for surviving an extra early brunch sesh with your mum/main squeeze/main squeeze’s parents (yikes).

1. Make sure you remove all smudged mascara

Plucking out one of those disposable cleansing wipes from the pack is like greeting an old friend: it’s hard at first but once you’ve gotten into the groove of it, everything seems easy. Swipe away those crusty mascara remains that have now somehow fallen below your cheek. Clean up that under eye area that’s no doubt resembling a blackened crime scene by now. Five seconds later and you’re ready to pick an outfit. 

2. Invest in a pair of tailored trackies (you’ll thank me later)

No one wants to go through the trauma of putting on a pair of tight skinny jeans at 8am on a Sunday, so your best bet is to strategically style your cool trackies to make them look a helluva lot more expensive than they actually were. Pair them with some killer flats and an oversized silk shirt and they may even pass for some kind of cool knitted pants? We can dream can’t we?

3. Plan B: Rock up in activewear and sneakily mist your face and chest to make it seem like you literally just came from the gym

“Oh honey, you just got up? I’ve been at the gym since seven.” Rocking up in a tank and leggings more than makes up for your less-than-presentable demeanour. It might even explain why any sudden movements might make you want to cry out in pain. 

4. Demand an outdoor table so you can wear your sunnies

Okay you’ve made it this far, now to pick the perfect spot so you can sink into your chair and groan your way through an hour and a half of witty conversation. Sitting in direct sunlight isn’t ideal, so shade yourself with a siq hat and oversized sunnies. 

Or you know, you could always get a table close to the bathroom, which is well, kind of self-explanatory. 

5. Order something ridiculously hot so the steam from your food will inadvertently give you a facial 

Open up those pores and release those dirty toxins from the night before. It’ll feel like you’ve spent an hour at a sauna, except this way you get to do it while noshing on a giant plate of caramel French toast. Extra hot coffee works great too. Just don’t get too close – those coffee fumes have been known to sting. 

6. Okay ladies, now let’s get in formation

Follow Queen Bey’s example and make your way towards any line you see – the line to get coffee, the line to pay, the line to the bathroom – it’ll make you seem alert and on it. 

Bonus: packing hot sauce in your bag (swag) never goes astray. Yet another way to give your brekkie that extra kick and make it seem like you’re really paying attention. 

Go on and slay all day, ladies. You earned it. 

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