6 reasons you’re taking so long to get dressed

“Hey, I’m out front.”

You know that friend who all the other friends complain about because they’re always late? Yeah, I’m that friend. Whether I’m going to brunch, catching the last train home or heading to a goddamn job interview, I just can’t get my shit together.

While I understand this is highly disrespectful for the people left waiting, may I ask that we also spare a thought for the person who’s always late? Because when my friend messages to say she’s out front and half my hair is straight and the other half is curly, well… that’s the sort of panic I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. 

It’s stressful being the late friend, and that is why I dedicate this story to all the other late girls of the world, who just want to look nice for their friends. 

Here are the six reasons you’re probably late every day of your life, and how you can attempt to be on time, even just once.

You’ve got shit organisation 

Is your wardrobe an absolute shit fight? Do you have ‘The Chair’ in your room where you toss your outfit every night? Do you lose items of clothing, only to find them three months later, deep in the wardrobe and being held up by the other clothes? 

To begin your quest of being on time, your wardrobe must be neat and categorised into some sort of system. Otherwise, you’ll stare blankly at the closet for 25 minutes, get stressed, cry and text your friends to say you’re not coming to dinner, or any events in the foreseeable future.

You’re giving yourself too much time

Contrary to popular belief, this is one late girls will know well. You see, late girls know they’re always late… we just can’t help it. So, occasionally we predict this and give ourselves MORE THAN ENOUGH time to get ready. Like, three hours enough.

Everything is going well, and for once we’re ready with 20 minutes to spare, so we pour ourselves a glass of wine and sit on the couch for some Insta scrolling. That is, until we think about our outfit again. 

Will these shoes get uncomfy? Will I be warm enough in this jacket? Does this top even match this stupid skirt? No, it doesn’t, so we try to make a few quick adjustments and before you know it we’re getting stressed, crying and texting our friends to say we’re not coming to dinner, or any events in the foreseeable future. 

You get distracted way too easily 

Whether it’s a new message on your phone, your song coming on the Spotify playlist or just sitting staring at nothing in your towel for an extended period of time, it’s not unusual for us late girls to be repeatedly distracted during our getting ready routine. 

The first step to beating this is admitting you have a problem and removing all temptations that could possibly distract you. Do whatever it takes: put your phone in a different room, choose a playlist with minimal bangers and get dressed in your outfit on as soon as you get out of the shower.  

Your shoe selection sux

It’s a likely story: you choose a cute outfit to wear and you’re feeling yourself, partly because of your outfit, and partly because you’re actually ready on time. You wait until the final five minutes to slip on your shoes… until you realise you have not one pair of shoes that match. You just have to change your outfit. 

This is often the case for serial black shoe buyers – those that gravitate towards the black option of a shoe because “it’s the most versatile”. Unfortunately, you’ll find this isn’t always true when it comes to pretty floral dresses and white twin sets. Arm yourself with an array of shoes, just in case.  

You have 1000 of the same item

It might seem like a good idea to own 15,000 pairs of skinny jeans, 2 million white T-shirts and 400 leather jackets, but the only thing these #options are doing is slowing you down. 

Why? Well, first, it’s overwhelming as f*ck and when it comes time to choose one of these items, you won’t know where to even begin. Then you’ll start to think maybe the other option will look better, so you try that instead. But maybe the original one was comfier? Maybe you should just quickly try it on again……. 

Oh, would you look at that! It’s now 9:30 pm and you completely missed dinner. Good job.

You underestimate how long things take

Out of all the reasons we’re constantly late, this is, hands down, the most common. Late girls just can’t get the timing right. It’s a problem. 

Basically, we’re always late due to a series of underestimations. We underestimate how long it will take to apply our eye shadow, we underestimate how long it will take to choose an outfit and we underestimate how long it will take to get there in an Uber.

However, the answer here isn’t just doubling the time you allocate yourself (see item #2). The answer is finding your own personal sweet spot. 

Yes, it takes trial and error; a few more late brunches and a few early arrivals that require you sit in your car taking selfies, but once you find that ideal length of time it takes you to get ready, you’ll never be (super) late again.

Illustration by Twylamae.