The Fashion Outsider: Wait, so when did Instagram become soft porn?

More #ootd less #belfies.

There has been an influx of nakedness into my Instagram feed of late – but it’s not just because I rigorously follow the hashtag #snowbunny. It’s all coming from fashion bloggers. 

Apparently there’s a new suit in fash-town, The Birthday Suit. And you don’t have to accessorise it with anything but a good filter. 

I used to follow all these bloggers for daily #ootds and fashion #inspo, but now finding an ‘outfit’ among the bunch is like trying to spot a needle in a naked haystack. If I see one more sandy behind, muscle-bound naked guy (supposedly promoting clothing?), or #iwokeuplikethis nudie shoot I think I’m going to hurl.

My feed is as bare as a Kim K Paper Magazine cover. From naked-in-bed selfies, to almost-naked bum selfies (belfies!), it seems like Instagram is increasingly less about clothing, and more about how NSFW we can get without it being a Playboy/Playgirl spread. 

I can hear the screams already: You’re a prude! Body shaming! We don’t have to be covered up!

Yep, I totally agree. If you want to share a million pics of your naked body go for it, god speed, all power to you. I rigorously support your nipples’ right to Insta-freedom.

But are any of these bloggers ‘making a point’? Does a random naked shot make any sense in their world? Or are they merely trading off the #thirst to snatch a few extra likes? 

I mean, at least Marc Jacobs’ surprise peen was an accident. Reportedly.

It’s one thing to post a #freethenipple political statement or to make sexiness your personal brand. But it’s quite another to post your sexts randomly in between two pics of your latest mom jeans and a great pair of flats, purely to boost your numbers. It smacks of desperation.

Meanwhile, in the world of sexy seamless personal branding, look at 4th and Bleeker. Soft porn is her game, and she does it well. She oozes sexuality – and all while completely clothed. I’ve never known a fashion blogger who can wear a muu muu and still make me feel like I want to jump her immediately. 

I love that about Spencer, she gets it. She understands something that Vogue Italia has understood for decades – that you can be totally sexy, maybe bust a boob out here and there, and STILL show us our fashion porn. Because in the end, that’s the porn that we’re all here for isn’t it?

In 2015, Instagram is all about your personal brand and I just don’t get why fashion blogging has anything to do with nakedness. Like, if anything, shouldn’t it be about… um… clothing? 

I love pretty clothes – post more of them for me to look at please. 

Follow Bianca’s confusing fashion journey at @alphabetponymag