The FJ Guide to: shopping for jeans

It’s a struggle. Here’s hoping that this will make it all easier.

Today is the day you’ve decided to go shopping for a new pair of jeans.

Gooooood luck kiddo.

I think we can all agree that shopping for jeans is not fun. As much fun as shopping for bikinis. Or getting waxed. Or giving birth?

Regardless, it’s a painful experience. We know and you know. Unfortunately there is no pair of pants that fits everyone (I’m looking at you The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants) so here are our top tips for getting through it all.

1. Know what you want

Do not go shopping blind. If you are not prepared for this outing, your mission will likely fail. Figure out what kind of style, wash and rise you’re after and have a few brands in mind. There are a ridiculous amount of jeans out there so you want to narrow the choices before you begin.

2. Do not eat that doughnut

We don’t mean this literally. If you want to eat that doughnut, EAT THAT DOUGHNUT. But if you’re the type of person who eats that doughnut and falls into a bad state of mind for the rest of the day, then refrain. You’ll blame that doughnut for any zippers that you can’t do up.

3. Make a game plan for the day

You could be a quick shopper but be prepared to give yourself the whole day, or at least a few hours. You also want to choose a shopping area with lots of jeans stores in close proximity, especially if they’re ones on your list (see tip #1). We recommend Myer, David Jones and General Pants Co. because they stock heaps of brands and you can bring them all into one fitting room.

4. Wear pants that you can get off easily

Speaking of fitting rooms, we advise that you wear pants. Trackies, your old jeans or yoga pants. As long as it’s easy to slip on and off, you’re set. Do not wear a dress guys. You’ll just have to awkwardly pop your head out and ask for a top. They’ll probably upsell you and it just makes the process much less efficient.

5. Do not get distracted by shiny new things

You’ve made a gameplan and now you have to stick to it. The mission is jeans and you should not deviate. Yes that jacket is cute but that’s not what you’re here for. Feel free to shop for other pieces after you’ve purchased your pair of jeans but don’t do it before.

6. Do some squats and sit down

You’ve found a pair and they fit. But do they fit comfortably? Do some squats in the fitting room and sit down on a chair. Obviously you’ll be sitting a lot in your new pair of jeans so you want to make sure they don’t dig into places they shouldn’t be. Trust us, you’ll know.

7. Keep in mind that they stretch

It’s common knowledge that jeans stretch out so if you’re in between sizes, size down. However this is not an excuse to buy a pair that is too small. They should fit comfortably (see #6) but make sure they’re firm. It’s worth asking the sales assistants about the stretch factor. Jeans can stretch anywhere from half to one size larger. Some jeans also have special technology that prevents them from stretching at all. It’s all dependent on material composition so keep that in mind.

8. Don’t be disheartened by sizing

Sizing sucks and is probably the worst part about shopping for jeans. Don’t be disheartened. We all have an aspirational size in mind but we need to push those thoughts aside for now. As much as we think it matters what size number is on the label, vanity sizing completely skews our understanding of this. Size no longer represents actual measurements. As long as you’re happy with the way it looks and feels, that’s truly the most important thing.

9. Don’t buy it in lots of different colours

You’ve slugged it out all day and you’ve finally found the “perfect” pair. Time to pick it up in a few more colours right? WRONG. Just take home one pair and try it out to see if it’s just lust or true love. After a couple of weeks, you’ve worn it with different pieces, seen how it stretches out, and maybe washed it (lol). Wait a bit before you commit to another pair because jeans can be expensive. If it’s true love, then you can buy all the colours if your heart desires.

10. Have a burger afterwards as a reward.

Optional. But srsly. Treat yo’ self. You made it.

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