Why my lab coat means more to me than any designer piece in my wardrobe

I never used to like the term ‘capsule wardrobe’ at all. I grew up poor and I was just like, ‘Well, like, I had a capsule wardrobe’.

My introduction to the fashion industry started when my partner Kyle (a photographer) got this amazing opportunity to work at Melbourne Fashion Festival. I’d never heard of it, I’d never seen a runway in my entire life. All I knew was Gucci and that was about it. I love to do new things that are terrifying, so I volunteered. It was so thrilling.

After the runway, I went backstage and I was so happy. This woman standing in the doorway says, “I saw you out there, have you ever thought about modelling?”.

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It’s so strange that the fashion industry is something so prominent in my life, yet there’s this contrast that I’m building. I want to be a doctor and I want to work in science. It’s such a contrast to the fashion industry.

I’ve been thinking about my most important piece of clothing and it honestly might be my lab coat. I know it’s not very fashion-related but it’s quite important to me. It inspires me to find out more about myself and find out more about the world. It’s a reminder to keep challenging myself. I used to have an inquisitive relationship with my clothing. Now, I need clothes that I’m comfortable in, that I know look good on me.

Some people are really comfortable in plain clothing. Some people are comfortable wearing high heels every day and extravagant clothes with a lot of flair and colour. Comfortable for me is a T-shirt or a button-up and a blazer, some jeans or pleated pants, and some loafers.

It’s strange because although I’m quite young, and spend most of my time at university surrounded by other young people, I would say that I dress a lot ‘older’ than most. I don’t really see anyone else wearing blazers and loafers to university. I really don’t see myself as fashionable, though, nothing that I wear is that daring. I’m not trying to ‘do’ anything or, like, curate an outfit. I just like my clothes, they feel like home.

I had to take a lot of fashion risks to get here. I experimented with clothing a lot in my teen years. I was cutting the sleeves off my clothes to wear as singlets when I thought that I was punk (I very much was not punk at all). I went through a bit of a ’70s phase wearing a lot of flares and colourful floral prints.

Then I had a moment wearing a lot more feminine clothes, getting comfortable wearing high heels, sometimes skirts. And you know, even though I don’t dress like that anymore, I never regret any of the fashion decisions I’ve made because I wouldn’t be who I am today.

I never used to like the term ‘capsule wardrobe’ at all. I grew up poor and I was just like, ‘Well, like, I had a capsule wardrobe’. Growing up, this isn’t revolutionary. Then, obviously, as I explored fashion, I accumulated so many clothes. I was just exploring so much and trying all these new things and then, you know, not really wearing them again. And then, you know what? I did go back to a capsule wardrobe.

I’m Aboriginal, but I don’t really look that Aboriginal. I’m Pakistani, but I don’t really look that Pakistani. I’m a queer person, but I don’t really look that queer. And I’m a man, but maybe I look a little bit too feminine, but then not feminine enough, and then not masculine enough either. I can’t be put into a box. I just look like myself and I’m very comfortable with myself. I don’t feel the need to change who I am.

Keep up with Tarik here.