A beginner’s guide to butt plugs

Slow and steady wins the race when you’re trying out butt plugs.

Butt plugs are fast becoming the new vibrator. It feels like suddenly everyone is talking about them. Maybe it’s thanks to porn or Reddit threads, or perhaps we are all finally just getting a bit more honest about sex. But it seems like people are finally prepared to say, “I might want some anal play!”. And honestly, I’m here for it.

Hopefully, by the end of the year, we will finally start seeing influencers spruiking them. Still, trying something new sexually is often as scary as it is exciting. If you aren’t well versed in using butt plugs, it’s completely normal to find them daunting. I mean, you aren’t exactly given instructions about how to use them during high school sex education classes.

For more sex talk, head on over to our Life section.

When delving into new sexual territory, you want to make sure you’re educated on how to best approach it so nobody gets hurt in the process. To make this part a bit easier, I had a chat with sex coach Cam Fraser who explained how to safely (and sexily) introduce butt plugs into the bedroom. 

Cam suggests starting with the basics – you don’t want to go too hard too soon.“Take your time and start small. It’s important to feel relaxed and warm yourself up. Don’t go straight for the butt plug,” he says.

“Start by stroking around your anus with a well-lubed finger and begin to introduce penetration, starting with a little finger and slowly building up. I’d also recommend a little pre-play prep to ensure you’re clean, which helps you relax and enjoy the experience more.

“It’s a good idea to make sure you’ve been to the toilet that day and had a good wash. To do extra precautions, you can also use an anal douche for a good flush around 45 mins before you start experimenting with anal play,” he adds.

While it’s mostly pretty straightforward, there are some myths about butt plugs. “One very common misconception is that a butt plug will get stuck inside you. Butt plugs are designed with a flared base to prevent this from happening – this base will keep the plug firmly outside of your anus.”

Once you’ve got the basics down, it may be tempting to rush if you’re turned on, but slow and steady wins the race when you are trying out butt plugs. “Another mistake people make is thinking lube is optional for anal.

“The anus does not self-lubricate, therefore, lube is an absolute must to give yourself time to get in the mood, heighten arousal and build your way up to penetration. Don’t dive straight in, as this may lead to pain and discomfort. Using a butt plug should be an enjoyable experience… There’s no such thing as too much lube,” he explains.

I’d argue that foreplay helps make any sexual experience better, so don’t get so excited by using something new that you forget to really enjoy the moment and the build-up. Once you do find yourself mastering butt plugs, it’s easy to maximise your pleasure.

“The great thing about butt plugs is that they can be used during sex, masturbation and during oral sex. For people with a penis, adding a butt plug or a prostate massager to receiving oral sex, masturbation, or penetrative sex can feel incredible due to the prostate stimulation. The prostate is an incredibly sensitive gland that feels especially good when stroked,” says Cam.

“This also goes for people who have a vulva – a butt plug creates more pressure on the back vaginal wall, which can increase sensation from a partner’s penis or finger, or a sex toy such as a dildo or vibrator. Incorporating oral sex can also increase pleasure from a butt plug, with orgasmic contractions around the plug feeling more intense. 

“The anus is rich with nerve endings that rarely get explored, solo or with a partner, so butt plugs can be a fantastic addition to sex or self-pleasuring, resulting in new experiences and new pleasure pathways,” he adds.

Basically, butt plugs aren’t that hard to use at all. It’s just about enjoying the experience, going slowly, leaning into foreplay and seeing what turns you on. So why not give it a crack?

This article was originally published on July 14, 2023.

Find out more about butt plugs here.