A guide to cock rings and how to use them
WORDS BY HANNAH COHEN
“There’s so much use in using a cock ring, whether it’s functional or pleasurable.”
Generally speaking, in recent times, discussion about sex toys and female pleasure has evolved from being a hush-hush conversation held strictly in private to rambunctious discussions in public (and on the internet) about everyone’s favourite new vibrator.
As certified sex coach Georgia Grace puts it, the shame people with vulvas experience around their pleasure is slowly, but surely, disintegrating. “We’ve got so much out there for people with vulvas and this incredible sexual empowerment movement that is supporting people [in] feeling comfortable with [their sexuality],” she tells me.
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But can the same be said for people with penises? Sure, given we live in a patriarchy, the experience of pleasure for male bodies is often a given. But that doesn’t mean people with penises should be deprived of resources that could enhance a sexual experience. This is where the cock ring comes in. It’s a multifaceted sex toy with a name so literal, it seems to slap you across the face.
According to Georgia, “there’s so much use in using a cock ring, whether it’s functional or pleasurable – it feels great for you and it can feel great for the person you’re having sex with as well”. Read on for her guide to all things cock rings.
What is a cock ring and what do they do?
Okay, so a cock ring is a ring that you wear on a cock. It is a ring that is worn at the base of a penis and people wear it for many different reasons. It can support the person with the penis in feeling bigger, stronger, lasting longer and feeling more sensitive. But depending on the ring, some of them vibrate too, so that can also stimulate someone else, whether they have a clit or an anus, or any other sensitive part of their body.
It is also used in a range of practices. Say, for example, if someone’s wanting to work on either premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction, this can be a great tool that we integrate later on when they’re sort of working with masturbation practices to support them in having more control and awareness over when they come. So basically, it is a tool that people use during sex or masturbation to intensify pleasure and sensation or to work on bringing more awareness to their bodies.
Wow, they really do it all! You mentioned some vibrate and some don’t. What are the different kinds cock rings out there and what are their purposes?
As with all toys, there’s a huge range. So, we have the classic silicone, a really soft material. We could have them just as a plain sort of ring that kind of looks like an elastic band [and] they are often a pretty accessible price point. But then if it vibrates or has any other functions to it, naturally, it becomes more expensive because it becomes, more dynamic and more pleasurable. Then we also have things like metal or steel ones. They are hard, so I wouldn’t recommend starting with a cock ring like that because if you haven’t experienced something like that before, it’ll be important to do something that’s soft first.
I always recommend starting or exploring cock rings with something that is soft and silicone. It will actually also depend on the kind of toy that you’re into. So when you are researching, get a sense of the materials you like, and [grasp] the look and feel that you like because some of them will be really cute and feminine and some of them will be a little bit more kinky. There’s a range of colours, and so on. There’s a cock ring out there for everyone!
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I think something to also note is that people will often be concerned about the size. So when you are looking, look at the dimensions… so you know whether it will be the right fit for you. But you do want it to be slightly tighter because you want it to constrict the blood flow so that it is doing its job. It is tight and that’s… why it can feel weird at first. So if you are using something like steel or [a] metal one, just make sure that you’re putting it on when your penis is soft, because otherwise it could hurt putting it on.
If someone’s new to cock rings, what should they know before trying one out for the first time?
So I think first things first, get lube. Because we want to make sure that you have the slide and glide to help you put it on. We also don’t want you to have it on for more than half an hour. So take it off after half an hour, just to make sure that you know you’re practising as safely as possible. If it feels uncomfortable, or if you’re in pain at any point, take it off, because you should never be experiencing unwanted pain.
You want to be using lube to slide it on when you’re soft or only semi-erect and moving it to the base of the penis so it fits comfortably. You will have this feeling that you are becoming more constricted and more engorged – that is the purpose of it, to support the blood flow. That’s why if you’re experiencing something like erectile dysfunction, this is a great tool because it can support people in feeling harder or maintaining that erection.
And then once you’re there, you can really do whatever you want within half an hour. Whether that is masturbation, which is always a great place to start so that you can think how [it] feels on your body, what feels good for you and so on. But in terms of sex with others, you can use it for penetrative sex, mutual masturbation, oral – whatever feels right for you!
If someone wants to use a cock ring with their intimate partner, how would they go about asking said partner if they’d like to wear it/engage with it?
Yeah, so it’s always great to have a conversation to start with. You may get it for yourself [so] you can always start using it during masturbation and then you may say something like, ‘Hey, I’ve just bought this thing and I’m really loving it and it’s really fun for me – I’m curious as to how this would feel for you,’ or ‘Would you be open to incorporating this?’.
If you don’t have a penis but you’re reading this article and you’re thinking ‘Oh, amazing, this sounds so fun’, again, having that conversation before is great. And you may even flick them the article with a wink and be like ‘Can we try this, babe?’. That’s an amazing way in, because it’s a bit flirty, it plants the seed and it allows someone to get a sense of whether it’s exciting for them. They may have never thought about that before. You may read the article together and discuss what sounds fun and exciting about this and what you might want to steer clear from.
So yeah, having that conversation and knowing that they may say no. If they say no, say “Thank you”. Or try “Thanks for letting me know. Is there anything else you want to explore that’s new because I’m kind of feeling like trying something new when it comes to sex?”. Or they may say, “Yes, I thought you’d never ask. Let’s get one right now”.
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