How to support someone going through menopause

Be the support they need.

For those of us who menstruate, our first-ever period probably conjures up feelings of anxiety, uncertainty and perhaps shame. There’s no doubt menstruating is physically and emotionally difficult. And at the end of all this is menopause, which is no less challenging. So what exactly is menopause?

Put simply, menopause is a marker of the end of reproduction for women. If it’s been 12 months since a woman had her last period, this is considered postmenopause. Susan Davis, the Professor of Women’s Health at Monash University’s School of Public Health and Preventive Medicine, tells me menopause is the permanent loss of ovarian function.

For more content like this, tap through to our Life section.

“In Australia, the average age of menopause is 51 and about 10 per cent of women have menopause before the age of 45 (known as early menopause).” Symptoms can include hot flushes, night sweats, sleep disturbances, as well as anxiety, depression and a loss of confidence, Professor Davis says. “[These] symptoms start any time between two to three years before menopause and can last for an average of seven to eight years.”

Professor Davis tells me 42 per cent of women aged 60 to 65 will have symptoms, with around six per cent experiencing severe ones. But regardless of how old we may be, chances are we all know someone who’s experiencing menopause. Whether it be a family member, friend or colleague, here are some ways you can support them.

Acknowledge the symptoms are real

Professor Davis says we can begin supporting someone by understanding that the symptoms experienced during menopause are real. “[Menopause] affects every woman differently, so no woman should judge another based on their own experience. Women are not trying to be irrational or irritable.” 

She says mood changes are common among women experiencing menopause, especially depression, anxiety and irritability because of low hormone levels, specifically oestrogen and progesterone. External stressors such as poor sleep caused by night sweats or hot flushes, physical signs of ageing and other health concerns may also contribute to mental health symptoms. So being sensitive and understanding of these symptoms is an important first step in supporting someone. 

Encourage regular exercise

While exercise alone can’t remove symptoms, it can help relieve stress, allow people to maintain a healthy weight and improve emotional wellbeing. You can encourage those experiencing menopause to include 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or at least 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity every week.

Or better yet, exercise with them to help them stay motivated. The key to an exercise routine is setting consistent and reasonable goals. This can be as simple as a quick walk after dinner or just before work in the morning. 

Help them make changes to their environment

As hot flushes and sleep disturbances are common symptoms that can adversely affect sleep hygiene, helping someone make changes to their household environment, especially in their bedroom, can bring them more comfort. The Australasian Menopause Society provides tips on the changes you can make, including putting a cold pack under pillows and reducing room temperature by leaving a fan by the bed.

These can help people experiencing hot flushes and reduce disturbances during the night. Some people experience such strong hot flushes they need to wake up and get changed. Suggest (or if you’re feeling generous, gift them) breathable sleepwear made out of natural fibres. If you live with them, prepare a small towel or cold water on their bedside table to help them manage if they wake up in the middle of the night. 

Encourage them to see a doctor

People experiencing menopause may feel reluctant to see a doctor for two main reasons, Professor Davis says. Firstly, they might worry the doctor will be dismissive or unhelpful, or they may feel they should only be seeing a doctor if they have very severe menopausal symptoms. The stigma associated with menopause, especially with the mental health symptoms it can cause, means that some people don’t want to bring it up with their doctor. 

But Professor Davis suggests encouraging those experiencing menopausal symptoms to see a doctor for treatment management. “Menopause is not just about symptoms. There are ‘silent’ effects that are not predicted by symptoms or a lack of symptoms, such as bone loss, increased cholesterol and risk of diabetes,” she explains.

“Every woman should see a doctor around the time of menopause, including women without bothersome symptoms, to discuss the possible impact on their health that they may not be aware of.” 

For more information on supporting women through menopause head here.