“The price you pay for not being in a relationship”: Unpacking my experience with the ‘singles tax’
Words by Camille Allen
“The burden of having to fend wholeheartedly for yourself, especially in this economic climate, is exhausting.”
Over my life as a single person, I’ve become accustomed to paying a certain price in the pursuit of love. And while my dating-related expenses have been fairly reasonable – a few fancy cocktails or an early morning Uber fare – I’m often met with the realisation that my lifestyle is more expensive than my loved-up counterparts.
Aside from the financial burden (looking good for dates can be a costly affair, after all), being a single woman in her early twenties comes with some additional baggage. When I was travelling solo through Europe, for instance, I met shocked locals who couldn’t fathom why I was exploring the world alone. Had I left my husband at the altar? Was I hiding his corpse in my suitcase? Could I take their grandson’s hand instead?
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Their pity and confusion highlighted that my eternal singledom was at odds with their cultural expectations. I’m well aware the belief that my life is lacking something purely because of my single status is rooted in old-fashioned and anti-feminist ideals. But being overseas alone reminded me that having a partner who would happily go halves on some tapas and a bottle of wine with me had some serious allure.
Right now, I’d love to have stable mental health, Margiela Tabi sandals and enough money to purchase the perfect Pomodoro tomato. While I’m still working towards the first two, the price of food captures the absurdity of the singles tax. I’m no economist, but this living thing is getting pretty pricey. Basic everyday life costs like food, rent, bills, TV subscriptions and even nights out are more expensive when you’re solo.
According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, in 2019, a one-person household could spend $2835 per month on living costs, which was 27 per cent more than couples, who had an average dual spend of $4118 per month. This gap has likely widened due to the current cost of living crisis. Put simply, being single costs more.
The singles tax is the price you pay for not being in a relationship. And as ridiculous as it sounds, the burden of having to fend wholeheartedly for yourself, especially in this economic climate, is exhausting.
@econwithsarah Lets talk about the single tax! #hinge #beingsingle #economics #finance #relationshipadvice #childlessmillennial #dating
When I moved to Berlin at age 20, it was the first time I’d ever lived alone. Above the buzzing streets of Kreuzberg, in my one-room apartment, I was getting ready to meet a friend of a friend who had also just moved to the city. Being a complete friend-aholic, I was giddy with the prospect of creating a new connection. This era of my life was liberating. Being so far away from anyone I knew and so totally lost and alone in a new city felt invigorating. The only issue was I couldn’t zip up my dress by myself.
While I had a fleeting thought that perhaps a boyfriend would be nice to help zip (and unzip) my clothes, pay half of my rent and share the grocery bill, I didn’t linger on it. Arriving at the restaurant to meet my potential new friend, I came bearing the perfect icebreaker: my unzipped dress and singledom.
After our brief introductions, I asked for a favour. “I live by myself, and I couldn’t zip up my dress!” We giggled as she kindly zipped me up. Sitting down at the restaurant, we decided to halve a palak paneer with two servings of naan.
I’m at a time in my life where my friendships with other single girlfriends are built on a foundation of love, care and sharing. We have sleepovers, we halve bottles of wine, we split Ubers and cook for one another when our paycheque hasn’t come through. Of course, this doesn’t eradicate the issue of the singles tax, or the niggling desire for a bit of romance. But it helps reassure me that my singledom isn’t a cause for panic. Sure I’m single, but I’m not alone.
For more on the singles tax, head here.
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