I’m starting a sober social club to prove you don’t need alcohol to have fun

“When I thought about it, it was sad how few fun activities exist outside of drinking.”

Let me start with the week I had, for context. I got ghosted, my best friend Alex and her partner were reevaluating their relationship and we’d both come off the back of a bender. Hearing the news of Roe v Wade, we were hungover and horrified.

We realised drinking was not helping our problems and that we needed to do something more for women’s rights. So we dried up our July to raise money for the Abortion Care Network. What could be more sobering than women’s access to essential healthcare being denied?

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Someone very close to me was pregnant and trying to get an abortion at that time. On the tram on the way to the Melbourne abortion rally, there was a man in a head-to-toe camouflage with the oiliest hair I’ve ever seen. He was verbally abusing all the women on the tram about abortions, yelling that we’d all “End up in hell”. I arrived at the rally in tears.

Barely anyone Alex and I knew had shown up to the rally and we were disappointed. So we decided to show up more. I was really angry for most of July. So angry and so sad – I’ve probably never wanted a drink more.

The pain of living in this world feels so intense sometimes – it’s no wonder we all drink like fish. According to the 2022 Global Drug Survey, Australians get drunk an average of 27 times a year (nearly double the global average). If you’re in your twenties and living in Melbourne like I am, that likely doesn’t surprise you.

We all joke about the drinking culture in Australia, but health professionals have suggested we stop joking. Alcohol is the most harmful drug according to Health Victoria – that’s right, worse than heroin. I say this as someone who drinks and is not necessarily going ‘cold turkey’.

July was one of the hardest months I’ve had in a while. It was hard for everyone around me as well, which made it harder for us to support each other. I think that’s where an end-of-day beverage usually steps in. When I thought about it, it was sad how few fun activities exist outside of drinking. How do you socialise, make friends and date without booze?

It’s not the first time I’ve noticed and it’s also the reason I’m not sober (ok, one of them). I did a two-month sobriety stint in 2021 because I’d overdone it over the summer. The booze just started making me feel unhealthy in every way.

The reason I didn’t stay sober then was for two reasons. The first was feeling like I couldn’t be properly involved in socialising, dating or even office fun without alcohol. Reason two is that I love wine (and gin and tequila). Luckily, this issue is mitigated by the brilliance of the booming non-alcoholic industry and brands like Non and Heaps Normal.

Although, unlike last year, this July I had Alex – and a more purposeful approach. We made our own fun, supported each other and reminded ourselves that the benefits outweighed the cons. The thing is, neither of us had any intentions of reforming our partying days and pursuing sobriety long-term.

But after a month without booze, the desire to drink the way we used to (binge drink) was truly gone. We wanted some sober fun in our lives – so Alex and I decided to start Sober Social Club.

The concept of ‘sobertarianism’

Alex and I are not steadfast sober girlies. I don’t know if I will ever permanently decide to forgo a prosecco at parties. ‘Sobertarianism’ is about curating a lifestyle I think I can make last. I like to think about it like trying sober on for size: minimising my drinking and generally being less binge-y. It’s like a flexitarian but for alcohol.

Sober Social Club is about changing the discussion around sobriety. It’s about normalising not drinking on a night out, without having a specific reason. It also doesn’t have to be permanent. For me, all-or-nothing sobriety has never worked well.

Making friends

Sober Social Club was created for connection. Have you ever thought to yourself, ‘Were we vibing, or was I just drunk?’

Do you ever make friends or date sober? I find this is where I lean on alcohol the most to lube my interactions for a faster connection. Slowing down with alcohol a bit now, I find I’ve forgotten a lot of the drunk memories. I wish I built more of my relationships in ways that I could remember.

So Sober Social Club was born. It’s a dinner party for a group of sober strangers. Most will likely just be testing the sober waters – but know how to have a good time. Come and eat great food, drink truly delicious non-alcoholic bevs, enjoy a tiny disco and engage in conversations you’ll want to remember (and actually will).

Want to join the club? Find out more here.