How I Got Here: Sober Social Club’s Co-Founders on creating alcohol-free connections
Words by Cait Emma Burke and Camille Allen
“Unfortunately, sober situations are quite rare in the events industry! I’ve always felt the pressure to party – in an industry where it’s all about ‘who you know’, leaving early isn’t what gets you jobs.”
Have you ever stalked someone on LinkedIn and wondered how on earth they managed to land that wildly impressive job? While the internet and social media might have us believe that our ideal job is a mere pipe dream, the individuals who have these jobs were, believe it or not, in the same position once, fantasising over someone else’s seemingly unattainable job.
But behind the awe-inspiring titles and the fancy work events lies a heck of a lot of hard work. So what lessons have been learnt and what skills have proved invaluable in getting them from daydreaming about success to actually being at the top of their industry?
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Welcome to How I Got Here, where we talk to women who are killing it in their respective fields about how they landed their awe-inspiring jobs, exploring the peaks and pits, the failures and the wins, and most importantly the knowledge, advice and practical tips they’ve gleaned along the way.
This week we speak to Saskia and Alex, the co-founders of Melbourne-based group, Sober Social Club. Emphasising how ‘food binds’ and ‘alcohol blurs’, the two friends created the club to fuel sober connections.
An intimate dinner party sans booze may seem like a recipe for an awkward night of small talk, but with flamboyant decor, delicious food and open-minded sober-curious attendees the club emphasises the importance of making friends minus alcohol.
Working within event management and media, Saskia and Alex grappled with the constant need to drink in order to remain a part of their social networks. While it may seem easier to form connections with some liquid courage, it surely shouldn’t be a necessity.
After doing Dry July, the coin dropped for the duo. By creating a community of like-minded people, friendships could be formed without the added element of a drink. Here’s how they did it.
What do you do and what’s your official job title?
Saskia: I’m the Co-Founder of Sober Social Club (SSC) and Creative Director of sorts. That includes taking care of the social media and marketing, with lots of styling thrown in. Outside of SSC I’m a freelancer specialising in socials and copywriting.
Alex: I’m the strategic business and finance girlie of the club! It’s my job to creatively engage our brand partners and make our events run smoothly. Outside of this, I’m an events contractor and the lead singer of Ellis Ares.
Tell us about your career trajectory. Did you study? How have you gotten to this point?
S: I started out in events six years ago and quickly found that ‘junior’ was synonymous with ‘also does social media’. After a few years I took the time to certify my digital marketing skills, and a few months into my diploma I dove headfirst into creative freelancing. Cut to 2022, I found myself sober and realised there weren’t any cool events without alcohol – so I started SSC to fill an important gap.
A: I have always been passionate about the entertainment industry, so I studied a Bachelor of Applied Business specialising in Entertainment Management. I’ve worked really hard to get to this point, from small independent events to the biggest festivals in the country. Throughout my friendship with Sas, there’s been no shortage of big ideas, and I knew SSC was one we needed to delve into.
Was the concept of SSC always there in the background, or was there a turning point that led to its creation?
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S: I would love to say I have always wanted this lifestyle, but in actuality, I’m a reformed party girl who has reached the sober curious community in the last two years. The ‘Aha!’ moment for me was last year, doing Dry July and realising there was nothing cool to do that didn’t have alcohol at the centre. Since that moment, SSC has been growing in my mind every single day.
I’m fairly new to adulthood. Speaking to my friends I met through working at a bar, we often reflect on how difficult it is to cement adult friendships, especially without alcohol. Why do you think this is?
S: Great question, and honestly I’m no expert on the matter, but I have a suspicion that the problem has to do with vulnerability. We all want more meaningful connections, but we also want to come across as cool to new friends. Vulnerability, while it binds and deepens our relationships, doesn’t exactly scream cool. Problematically, alcohol is so often at the centre of adult friendships and lent on a little too hard. Maybe putting yourself out there, sans booze, is the answer to a lasting connection.
A: Simply, alcohol lowers inhibitions and can be a shortcut to friendship. Adult life is so busy, that when you do get time to catch up it’s easy to want to fast-track your connection. The beauty of SSC is that everyone comes to the table on the same level, and with more openness to connect in a meaningful way!
Have you always been comfortable in sober situations?
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S: Unfortunately sober situations are quite rare in the events industry! I’ve always felt the pressure to party – in an industry where it’s all about ‘who you know’, leaving early isn’t what gets you jobs. I feel really lucky to more recently be in a position where I can freelance and have control over my day-to-day, which I have made increasingly wholesome.
A: As Sas said, they’re unfortunately quite rare. Even at family events, a drink would be offered and I would take it on autopilot. It can be uncomfortable being the only one at the table choosing not to drink, but since starting SSC I haven’t felt so out of place. Hopefully, we’re creating a more accepting space around that conversation!
What does your day-to-day look like?
S: I wish my brain retained that kind of information. One day I’ll be out thrifting styling props, the next I’m manically graphic designing and the days in between I’m probably making reels for clients and formulating ideas into words.
A: Every day is different for me – but in the lead-up to the SSC launch, I was busy planning all the ins and outs, and having lots of exciting conversations with our brand partners and future collaborators. Plus every Monday we get together to record our podcast, Schmooze, which I edit and upload weekly.
What’s been the biggest challenge within your career?
S: Indecision is my daily challenge. I’ve always had an enormous amount of ideas and constantly find problems I want to solve, but choosing which tasks, roles and ideas to prioritise is something I find confronting – I have to fight the desire to do everything.
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A: As an events contractor, the challenge is always staying three steps ahead and putting your best foot forward. Sometimes I’ll see a contract I know I’d be perfect for, but it won’t get over the line. Rejection can be challenging but it’s important to keep confidence levels high and know my trajectory is still going upwards.
Have there been any fairytale friendships that have blossomed through SSC?
S and A: We launched last week and it couldn’t have gone any better. Friendships were definitely starting to form on the night. The magic of it was that everyone felt conversation flowed better without booze, and lags in convo were non-existent. One attendee even asked whether we would host a club alumni event so that these same sober-curious people could reconvene around the table. That embodied the success of the night for us.
What skills have served you well in this industry?
S: Having the confidence to put forward the ‘silly ideas’. And chatting, chatting is crucial.
A: I think my resilience and ability to just have fun with it! Every problem is solvable.
Do you have any tips for anyone wanting to work in a similar role one day?
S: Set up the vision board and then approach everything with as much confidence and passion as you can.
A: The events industry can be harsh, so finding the right people to work with is crucial!
Read the rest of the How I Got Here series here.
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