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29 things you can relate to if you’ve ever been on a family holiday as an adult

Family holiday illustration

Illustration by Twylamae

It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

As a child, the notion of a family holiday was as good as Christmas. You’d pack your things and jump in the car (aeroplane if you were lucky) and prepare for the best two weeks of your young life.

Travelling with your family later in life is a little different. Sure, it seems like a good idea at the time, but what usually ensues is a whole lot of fighting, some really bad group selfies and every one of the below scenarios.

1. When your dad makes you show up seven hours early for your flight

2. Watching him then try and convince the airline to upgrade your whole family to business class

3. “If only this was Home Alone 2 and I could sneak off to New York with Dad’s credit card”

4. Trying to convince your parents to buy overpriced airport food, so you can milk this holiday for all it’s worth

5. Flying with an airline that’s not a budget carrier

6. When your parents expect you not to fight with your sister but then make you share a room

7. Accepting the sacrifice because your accommodation is way more bougie than you could ever afford on your own

8. Accepting the fact that you’re still on the trundle bed if you’re the youngest

9. Filming your accommodation on Snapchat à la Catriona Rowntree on Getaway

10. When your dad sets up an Excel spreadsheet detailing your itinerary

11. And there’s always some sort of team-building activity included

12. Complaining to your mum that you don’t want to do said team building activity

13. Getting up at the crack of dawn to seize the day. No sleep-ins permitted because staying on schedule is life or death

14. Being on Instagram photographer duty and having to take 100 candid snaps of your sister at the beach

15. Realising you have nothing in common with your siblings other than the womb you came out of

16. Becoming a WWE wrestler when fighting over who gets the bathroom first

17. Yelling at your siblings when they poo in the hotel bathroom

18. The pain of trying to coordinate more than one taxi/Uber/tuk-tuk

19. Exploiting the cheap conversion rates and ordering an UberBlack (followed by lectures on the value of money)

20. Your one sibling who’s a Debbie Downer about every activity

21. Pretending you’re too sick to go out and then hitting the shops once your family has left for the day

22. Buying the most expensive cocktail on the menu, because you know it’s Mum’s shout

23. Waiting five hours for the group’s lagger to catch up once you reach your destination

24. When your mum decides now’s the perfect time to get your dad a new wardrobe

25. Trying to take a group selfie but your mum keeps putting her finger in front of the lens

26. Fighting for the window seat on the plane home

27. When you’re so close to freedom but your parents decide they want to buy alcohol in Australian Duty-Free

28. Not seeing your family for three months once you’ve returned home

29. When your parents proclaim that was the last family holiday ever

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