Here’s how a trip overseas helped me make new friends as an adult

What do you do when you’re still keen on adventure, but your partner and friends aren’t so interested in leaving their comfy lives behind?

Making new friends as an adult is hard. Particularly when you hit your thirties, and most of your friends are settling into their new lives as parents, partners and business moguls. We’re all so overwhelmed by life’s distractions that it can be difficult to hold onto those connections as you drift apart, pursuing exciting new directions in your life.

So what do you do when you’re still keen on adventure and party-packed vacations overseas, but your partner and friends aren’t so interested in leaving their comfy lives behind? Maybe you’ve travelled solo, only to find it a bit lonely after a week or so.

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The answer is to swallow your well-masked social anxiety and book a solo week in Bali with a group tour that’s practically designed for adult friend-making. Or at least that’s what I did. LuxeWeek is described as ‘luxe Contiki for Gen Z’.

Up to 100 people descend upon the latest LuxeWeek location – in my case, Canggu in Bali – spread across several villas, but still close enough to each other that convenient kick-ons can occur. The accommodation comes in a few different price points (I was hosted by LuxeWeek, and stayed in a ‘VIP’ villa).

From my experience, you have a villa, shared with three to four people, your own room, bathroom, a shared lounge room and kitchen, all centred around a pool. On day one, you’ll meet your villa-mates ahead of an opening night party. For us, it was a ‘white party’ at a huge, luxury villa nearby, complete with a spread of local food, a bar, a DJ (of course) and even a dedicated tattoo artist – should you want to commemorate the event.

My first impression of the diverse, mostly American/British/European crew was that they were outgoing, friendly and keen to party. Hard. If I was planning to get any sleep in the villa, I’d best dispel that notion – kick-ons were often, loud and full of fun, rotating between villas to share the clean-up.

As someone who comes across as extroverted, but is often oversharing to mask my social anxiety, I actually felt really comfortable in the group – there were plenty of outgoing personalities that allowed me to take a backseat when I needed to. The week is full of activities – all optional, some an additional price.

Between white-water rafting, banging about in the jungle on a muddy ATV and partying on a yacht as we sailed toward an island destination, there was no time to get bored or awkward. The busyness of it all kept the party moving and acted as cute bonding moments with the 100-odd new friends. Honestly, it broke down a lot of barriers. And never in a cheesy way (no trust-falls and name games here).

The final night was a pool party at the famous Finns Beach Club. Drinking cocktails and dancing into the night, many of us exchanged details to keep in touch for ‘the next one’, which was set for Tulum in a few months’ time. A few weeks later now, the group DM is still popping – to the point I had to turn off notifications, as with almost 100 people on board, the constant life updates and in-jokes can get a bit rowdy. In the best way possible.

And so, we come to the final questions. Did I make friends? Was it all worth it? And would I go again? I’ve travelled solo a lot before, but it was genuinely lovely to share those special moments travelling with others. As there were a few small groups who had booked together, I was initially concerned everyone would fold into their insular friend group, leaving us solo travellers lingering on the edges of the party.

But a number of the groups I met were keen to socialise and mingle, many of them breaking off into new connections that have lasted beyond the week in Bali. In fact, many of them are booking in for the next round in Mexico.

As for me? I would go again, but I’d probably try and convince a friend to come with me – it would have been nice to have a little security blanket in a familiar face when the partying became a little too much.

Whether the friends I made will last the distance is yet to be seen, but one thing’s for sure – our villa will never forget the fond memories of loud karaoke sessions in the car, hilarious moments in the sun and a family dinner, feet squiggling in the warm sand, watching the sunset over Jimbaran Bay.

For more on making friends in your thirties, head here.