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We asked a human male to road test face moisturisers

Words by James di Fabrizio

My month of moist skin.

I, like many of my fellow human beings, like my face to feel nice. But here’s the deal: I don’t really have a skincare routine. I just splash hot water on my face in the morning and apply whatever lotion is kicking around in the medicine cabinet.

So with that in mind, I spent the last month trying more creams and potions than I knew existed.

Brand: Triumph & Disaster
Name: Gameface Moisturiser
From: triumphanddisaster.com
Price: $55
The first thing I noticed about male moisturisers is the length they go to brand themselves in a distinctively ‘masculine’ way. Sometimes this works, other times it doesn’t. It does for Triumph  & Disaster, because its description makes me think about James Dean falling off a motorcycle (read: cool guy doing cool things). This is my favourite and I use it every day now.
Rating: 5/5

Brand: Kiehl’s
Name: Facial Fuel
From: kiehls.com.au
Price: $39
This bad boy was real good. It smells like peppermint and genuinely feels refreshing. If I had to describe how putt ing this moisturiser on felt, it’d be like when you water a dying plant and you see the soil soak it all up rapidly. I’ve killed many a plant in my time, but I think my skin would last longer than my ferns if I used this consistently.
Rating: 4/5

Brand: Got-To
Name: Bro-To Very Useful Face Cream
From: gotoskincare.com
Price: $41
After putting this moisturiser on, two colleagues told me I looked greasy. But then again, I’ve been told that a lot in my life (thank you, Italian gene pool) so I’ll take it with a grain of salt. To be fair, this smelt like oranges and wood. I quite liked it. But it felt a bit thick. I’d probably lather this on if  my skin was particularly cooked.
Rating: 3/5

Brand: Hunter Lab
Name: Daily Face Fuel
From: hunterlab.com.au
Price: $49
This is one high-end face cream. It feels luxurious, and was definitely a major step up from my usual supermarket go-to. It’s filled with avocados (delicious), macadamias (also delicious), and passionfruit (a banging Drake song), which all coalesce into a product that feels natural.
Rating: 4/5

Brand: Handsome
Name: Facial Moisturiser
From: ha.ndso.me
Price: $24.95
I probably liked this the least, but mainly because the copywriting put me off : You’re a man and you want your skin to feel nice. That’s OK.” It’s a nice sentiment, but I don’t need permission from a cardboard box to live my life. That aside, this smelt like wood and honey (enticing), but felt like I was applying sunscreen (less enticing).
Rating: 3/5

This article was originally published in Fashion Journal 177. You can read it here.

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