What is anal bleaching?

Everything you need to know.

If you’re reading this, you’re probably curious about the ins and outs of anal bleaching, maybe because you’re wanting to try it out, or maybe because Maya Rudolph and Rose Byrne’s characters got matching bleached assholes in Bridesmaids and you wondered what all the fuss was about. 

As a low-maintenance girl who only shaves her legs for special occasions and gave up on her eyebrows years ago, I am not a prime candidate for asshole bleaching. But the thing is, I just like knowing stuff. Stuff like 1) why do people get their assholes bleached and 2) what does the process actually entail?

For more beauty advice, see our Beauty section. 

Anal bleaching involves the lightening of the skin around the anus. This can be achieved by undergoing chemical peels, laser treatments or topical creams. Treatment can be DIY-ed, but this is not advisable because there are so many variables that can go wrong. Sometimes, the ingredients in DIY treatments can be carcinogenic (as in, they can potentially cause cancer). Some of the nasty ones to look out for are mercury, kojic acid and hydroquinone. 

Then, there’s also the potential that because you’re not an anal-bleaching professional, you might accidentally apply the cream improperly and have these carcinogens enter your bloodstream by way of your asshole. And again, there’s the chance that whatever topical DIY treatment you choose ends up irritating your skin and making it more discoloured than it started. I don’t say this to scare you off lightening your freckle, but to make sure you do it safely.

When performed by a well-reviewed licensed professional, you (and your anus) are in capable hands and you’re more likely to get the desired result because that’s their literal job. Practitioners recommend lightening your anus by three shades, lest you have a shining white asshole like Casper the Friendly Ghost (an actual reference I saw on an anal bleaching product’s website). Achieving the desired colour can take around five sessions of chemical peels, at approximately $250 a pop, so it’s a significant financial commitment.

Much like Brazilian waxes, the rise of anal bleaching somewhat coincides with the availability of internet pornography. With a wide variety of porn ready to watch at the click of a button, silky smooth, perfectly pink genitals and perky breasts became the norm. Like a lot of things we see in porn, these highly manicured pussies and assholes take a lot of work and they’re not indicative of what the average Joe’s got packing in between their cheeks. 

For a lot of us, the skin around the anus darkens due to a myriad of reasons: friction, loss of skin elasticity as we age, sun exposure, hormonal changes, genetics or skin conditions. I dare say there’s not one person in the world that isn’t affected by at least one of these factors, so it would be a shame to hate yourself based on the colour of your tooshie. 

The asshole is a body part that, for many, is shrouded in mystery and is seldom discussed in public. Some of this shyness about the anus can probably be attributed to prudishness or the desire to have ‘polite conversation’ (whatever that is), but I think a lot of the sheepishness around the asshole is steeped in homophobia. It’s 2023, and there are entire internet communities dedicated to not wiping one’s own bum because it’s perceived as being ‘gay’ – as if that were a bad thing. 

In a society that’s so obsessed with cleanliness that we want our anuses to look like they’ve never come in contact with faeces, it’s mind-boggling that there are men out here who literally won’t wipe the shit from their ass-cracks or wash their butts in the shower. Anyway, I bring this up just to say that if you’re not talking about your anus because you think it’s ‘gay’, grow up. Also, please wipe your asshole. 

I don’t think the choice to bleach or not bleach your asshole should be a decision based on morals or principles. I believe that it’s neither right nor wrong to want to seek cosmetic intervention, as long as you’re sure that’s what you want. I have always said that one day I’m going to have my droopy tits reduced in size and lifted, so why would I care if having a pastel pink asshole brings you joy? 

But I do wonder if we all just embraced our darkened, discoloured assholes, then maybe I wouldn’t be writing this article. If lightening it by two or three shades makes you feel empowered and beautiful, go off! Just make sure to do thorough research (not just on the internet – go and talk to a professional!). Freud said that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and I say that an asshole is just an asshole, brown, mottled, or bleached.

For more on anal bleaching, try this.