The Fashion Outsider: The future of fashion is here. So where are our damn silver jumpsuits?

“If anything, it’s like fashion is going backwards.”

Back To The Future day was last week: that exact moment when Marty was whizzed into 2015. A 2015 filled with hoverboards and Jaws #19 and everyone being ok with hooking up with your mum.

There were self-lacing sneakers and a whole lot of steam punk references. There was even a prediction of Tony Abbott’s downfall via the 500 faxes declaring ‘You’re Fired.’ I know, how did they even know that Abbott would be able to FIND a fax in 2015?!

And all this futuristic amazingness got me thinking… We got the video phones. We got the holograms. We even got the hoverboards. But where is our futuristic fashion?

In 2015 we’re looking back more than ever for our sartorial references. My confused closet is full of flares and crop tops and chokers. It’s not even sure which decade it’s in anymore.

Where are our silvery jumpsuits? Why can’t anyone make Google Glass happen? And why hasn’t anyone worked out a way to instantly shoot make-up onto our faces like LeeLoo in The Fifth Element?! (This one first please.)

According to Back To The Future, the future of fashion is here. So then, where is my damn fashion multipass?

If anything, it’s like fashion is going backwards. The last new fashion trend I can remember that wasn’t stolen from a generation or two before was normcore. And we all know how THAT worked out. 

Before that, there was the all-encompassing skinny jean… but as we learned recently, they can totally kill you.

So who, out there, is going to give us something that we can really get excited about? Something truly new? Something that, unlike Ellery’s trumpet sleeves, doesn’t catch the edge of a red wine glass and cover us in spaghetti sauce at dinner?

Then again, if I really think about it, every futuristic movie I’ve seen features vinyl catsuits in some shape or form… Then there’s LeeLoo’s gravity defying white bandage ensemble.

Come to think of it, unless someone invents a machine that instantly gives me Milla Jovovich’s body, I think I’ll stay put right here in my ’70s-layered laziness. 

After all, even George Jetson had to use a treadmill…

You can follow Bianca’s confusing fashion journey through multiple decades over at @alphabetponymag

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