How gaining weight has affected my personal style

Gaining weight, losing choice.

I recently went into the city to find a cocktail dress for my birthday. I went into a department store, and a sales assistant asked me if I needed any help. I let her know what I was after. After all, why not ask the experts? But she was puzzled by my brief – a cocktail dress in a size 18? She said she was “going to get another staff member”.

So then I was standing with these two ladies, who in summary told me “No, we don’t sell that size, but you should try going into the bridal stores down Sydney Road and look for ‘mother of the bride’ dresses”. They said I’d have more luck there, finding a dress in my size.

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Mother of the bride? I was shopping for my 25th birthday dress, not my 65th. Is size 18 a death sentence when it comes to looking cute? Have I not only sized out of straight-sized brands but age-appropriate fashion completely?

Gaining weight, losing choice

Going up a size in clothes really isn’t the end of the world. I’ve gone from a size 12 to a 14 to a 16, but now I range from size 16 to 20. I’ve gained the most amount of weight in the past two years, but I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Except when shopping in stores.

Going from a 12 to 14 was upsetting for me as a teenager, but a change in the wind would’ve upset me when I was my most hormonal self. The problem now lies in going from a size range of 14 to 16 to 18 to 20, where most brands will cut off their size range. The labels I used to love are no longer available to me.

Plus-size-only labels, for the most part, are distinctly different from straight-size brands. You’ll easily find frocks with loud, floral patterns, or a T-shirt that says ‘Disney Adult’, in size 16 and above. But that’s just not my style. I like neutrals, denim and easy, cool pieces. I’m not going for eccentric art teacher or mother of the bride.

And if I want to participate in the latest fashion trends? Forget about it. Sophadophaa’s blue corset doesn’t come in my size. I have to say no to anything Y2K. Those bandwagons have left the station, leaving me behind in an unflattering peplum top that might have been cool in 2012. So what am I to do?

My opposition to op shopping

I mentioned Sydney Road before. For anyone not from Melbourne, Sydney Road is the main street of Brunswick, one of Melbourne’s trendiest suburbs. It’s famous for its plethora of op shops and vintage stores.

The plus-size section of most op shops is less timeless and more tragic. Tucked in the back of the store, you’ll find a rack with brands like Kmart, Taking Shape and Sussans. Thanks to that quote from Summer Heights High, I just can’t bring myself to wear Sussans. Sorry. I do have a dope vintage brown leather jacket I got from an op shop, but it wasn’t cheap.

The plus-size tax

We often hear about ‘the pink tax’, but I think there’s a plus-size tax on top of that. It’s true more brands are extending their size range, but I find these brands fit into the below two categories.

Fast fashion

There are a number of fast fashion brands that offer a generous size range, but to shop there is supporting an industry I morally disagree with.

Mid-luxury

These are brands that offer nice, quality plus-size clothing but aren’t cheap. Most of my favourite pieces are over $100. Not everyone can afford this, and if I was smarter with money I wouldn’t be spending this either. But I just want to look cute!

Leaning into accessories

To combat the lack of availability of fashion that suits my style, I’ve found myself relying more on accessories. I don’t envy my tall girlfriends when it comes to buying shoes. I fit into a size nine to 10, which is conveniently available at most stores. When I’m stuck with a bland outfit, I like to add some personality with a bold pair of sneakers or boots.

Do nails count as an accessory? Since gaining weight and struggling to find clothes, I’ve been getting my nails done more. It’s a classy and personalised touch to every look, and regardless of gaining and losing weight, you’ll always have your nails.

My recommendations

If you’re reading this and you’re also a plus-size girlie who just wants to look cute, here are the size-inclusive brands I’ve recently discovered. As a bonus, many of them are Australian!

• Obus
• Forever New Curve
• Commonry
• You+All
• Fayt The Label
• Remmie by Riley
• Little Party Dress
• Harlow

Final thoughts

It’s taken me a long time to understand there’s no morality attached to body size. Weight is not inherently good or bad, and neither is style. The good news is there are brands out there that will make you feel confident and cute – you just might have to search a little harder. I hope my story helps other plus-size people feel seen in a world that can make us feel invisible.

Want more advice on navigating personal style and weight? Try this.