Dear fashion brands: Don’t invite me to your events if I can’t fit your clothes

“If I don’t fit into your clothes, you don’t fit into my vibe.”

This title might seem like a no brainer but unfortunately, it’s a far too common occurrence. In the past six months, I’ve been invited to events, pop-ups and store openings for clothing brands and when I attend, I’m faced with the reality that their clothes are not made for me.

There’s no feeling less welcoming than scanning the racks at an event, loving the clothes, and having to go up to the host and ask if they have anything you’re interested in trying on, in your size. And then, for them to say to you: “We’re only making these pieces in really limited sizes.”

For more fashion news, shoots, articles and features, head to our Fashion section.

Like at that point, just call me a slur and tell me you don’t want people who look like me in your clothes. Because that’s pretty evidently the case.

As an Australian size 14 to 16, I hear this way too often and the thing that really frustrates me is that I’m considered ‘mid-size’ or a ‘small fat’. I’m on the lowest end of the plus-size spectrum, yet I face these issues of size discrimination. It’s unbelievable that this is just a daily occurrence for other plus-sized people. 

Being invited into spaces that make it clear they don’t want you is a really demoralising experience. Having to watch all of your smaller friends try things on in the changing rooms, bonding and laughing while you stand outside ready to be a ‘woo girl’ feels like a missed moment of girlhood.

Having that awkward conversation with the brand owner about why you’re not trying anything on, and if you dare to say “nothing fits me”, they somehow become the victim. You end up comforting them, with words like: “No it’s so fine, I know how hard it is to be a small business owner and sizing can be tricky.”

Sizing is not that tricky. You are just lazy.

The brands can’t have their cake and eat it too. If I’m not your target demographic (i.e not thin) and can’t wear your clothes, why am I even here? To make you look like you’re size-inclusive, when you’re not? To post some Instagram stories, promoting a pop-up that only a percentage of my following would be able to wear?

Honestly, I’m sad I even have to write this. I love supporting small businesses, I think the creative work these brands are doing is top notch. They have amazing taste and designs, I’m just annoyed that they don’t think size inclusivity is important.

I believe this issue of brands being clueless extends far beyond size inclusivity. I have received a plethora of emails from sex toy brands over the years, as if my Instagram bio (that sits directly above my email address) doesn’t clearly read: Your favourite asexual’s favourite asexual. Being asexual and loud about it is kinda my whole shtick. Do people just not catch the ‘a’ and think I’m advertising being super horny?

To make matters worse, I’ve had a friend tell me about a time when someone who works at a sex toy brand was bad mouthing me for not responding to their messages about a vibrator gifting. My friends response was: “Yeah no shit, she’s asexual.”

The lack of awareness and rise in performative inclusivity is truly mind boggling to me and I’m tired of accepting this as the norm. I don’t want to go to styling studios that brands have organised for me, only for there to be one item in my size. No more getting goodie bags from events and the clothes in it are only a size small. If I don’t fit into your clothes, then you don’t fit into my vibe.

This story was originally published on April 10, 2025.

For more size inclusivity in fashion, try this.