16 Kris Jenner quotes perfect for your next Instagram caption

Illustration by TwylaMae
Words by Fashion Journal

“Give me that fucking bread.”

Of all the reality stars to walk this earth, few are more iconic than Kris Jenner.

The matriarch of the Kardashian/Jenner clan built an empire out of sex tapes, lip fillers and scandal. Where some may have crumbled, Kris thrived.

The old adage ‘the devil works hard, but Kris Jenner works harder’ has some truth to it, you know.

Therefore, it’s only appropriate to immortalise some of Kris’ most memorable moments by using them as Instagram captions – allowing her legacy to live on forever.

Here are 16 of Kris Jenner’s more quotable moments, and when to use them as Instagram captions.

1. This is a case for the FBI
Use when: you post a photo of you and your pal twinning in the same outfit

2. HELLO MOTHERF***** F*** F***
Use when: you post for the first time in a month

3. The other day I was arranging coffee table books and magazines around my office. Somebody looked at me and said I was crazy but I have to have everything in a certain order or I can’t sleep at night
Use when: you’ve spent all day arranging your reading material into a perfect flatlay that says ‘I only spent minutes on this and look at how scholarly I am’

4. Once in a while it comes out, I can’t help it
Use when: you apologise for last night’s excessively long IG Story

5. It’s, like, snowing pussywillows
Use when: when it’s freezing outside so you post a cute selfie and the snowflake emoji will not suffice

6. There was someone in the bathroom who just peed really loud and strong for three minutes
Use when: You share a club bathroom selfie of you and your crew

7. My lips look like a Who from Whoville
Use when: you try out a new lipstick shade feel the need to share a pouty selfie with the world

8. On the cover of a magazine it said I was drunk and alone and just for the record, is there a problem with that?
Use when: you feel you need to justify your seventh nightclub photo in a row

9. Our feelings are our feelings
Use when: you get a little too drunk and make the decision to post a crying selfie on IG Stories

10. You’re doing amazing sweetie
Use when: you post a vid of your bestie tearing up the dance floor

11. I know a thing or two about rap music
Use when: you get dragged along to a concert by a friend but want to pretend on socials like you know the artist

12. Give me that fucking bread
Use when: posting a bird’s eye of your avo toast at Sunday brunch

13. I have one word for tonight… vodka
Use when: you take that perfect pre-club snap

14. I don’t have any cell service here, and it’s making me have a rash
Use when: you’re on a remote vacay, preferably posting about some lush scenery

15. I’m sorry you’re overwhelmed
Use when: you post a banging #ootd and feel unstoppable

16. You’re a bunch of haters
Use when: your last IG post didn’t surpass 11 likes

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