What’s the deal with anal beads?

“We’re trying to get more people to put things in their bums. It feels really good!”

The world of sex toys can be a bit overwhelming. Humans are seekers of pleasure, so on our quest for the strongest Os, we’ve invented all kinds of strangely shaped items to put in, on and around our bodies. At High Tide, a modern adult store tucked away on Melbourne’s Rankin Lane, there’s a bright pink device shaped like a snail. What you’re supposed to do with that, I have no idea.

Anal beads are another type of toy that can cause confusion in the bedroom. They look more like a piece of jewellery than a classic phallic-shaped sex toy (a concept explored in that one scene in Made of Honor). One would assume, because of the name, that they’re to be put in the anus. But how? And more importantly, why? 

Interested to hear how others navigate the world? Head to our Life section.

To answer all of my burning questions, I enlisted the help of High Tide’s Co-owner Paige Aubort. Her store, scented of spiced candles and smoke, might to the naive eye look more like an avant-garde sculpture gallery than a sex shop. 

There are no pictures of bodies on the walls, no gendered labelling, and the pieces, organised by colour rather than function, stand tall and proud on the shelves. It’s all intentional – she and her partner and Co-founder wanted to create an environment that was more representative of modern pleasure than the traditional adult shop.

“Everyone wants to look at the butt stuff, but if the butt stuff is in a dark, seedy corner, no one’s going to look at it,” she says. She’s assembled an arsenal of anal beads in front of us: big, small, ribbed and vibrating. Most are made from body-safe silicone, although they can also be made from metal or glass, which Paige says can be great for temperature play.

 

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“Whereas butt plugs are used more for fullness and pressure – once inside, they’re left inside – anal beads are actually more specifically used for the sensation going in and the sensation coming out. Butt plugs you put in and you rest; anal beads you can put in slowly and you can also pull out slowly.” 

Because of this, butt plugs typically have a flared base to prevent them from getting stuck, while anal beads have a ring or a loop. Paige says there’s a “pop” sensation that can be felt when a ball goes in or comes out, which can feel really good when timed with an orgasm. 

“I would honestly say the people that buy these, I wouldn’t be able to fit them into a category. People are adventurous,” says Paige. Everyone can enjoy the sensation of anal beads, but especially those with prostates.

 “I think that there’s a lot of outdated messaging that’s still ingrained around, like, ‘Oh, I’m a cis hetero man, I shouldn’t put things in my bum’. Absolutely you should! It’s wild that you can experience a really fantastic level of pleasure but you’re not doing it because of this idea.”

For beginners, Paige suggests starting with a butt plug to get used to the feeling of having something in there. When you’re getting down to business, make sure there’s lube and lots of it – she recommends Sassy by Sliquid. She tells me a key thing to recognise about anal beads is that they’re an enhancement to sexual pleasure rather than the entire activity. 

“I don’t think people are approaching anal beads in a way which is like, ‘Hey, we’re going to sit down together or on our own and we’re just focusing on this one thing’. This is like the maple syrup on the pancakes. Do this at the same time as head or sex or sensation play, something else. This will add an incredible sensation – it’s not the main show.”

Before getting the beads involved, it’s important to make sure you’re turned on and ready. Sometimes, that can mean douching or putting a towel down for peace of mind about the mess. 

“It’s natural, right? Our body wants to push against something entering into our anus, so the idea of being really warmed up, stimulated, touched, kissed and felt in other places is a great way to relax the body and not focus so intensely and tighten up.”

After the deed has been done, make sure you clean the toy thoroughly with soap and warm water and spritz with a toy disinfectant for good measure. Paige says these types of toys need air, so rather than immediately throwing them into the back corner of your nightstand, put them in a breathable cotton or linen bag. Also, it’s essential not to share anal toys with others (I’m sure you can assume why).

At the end of the day, it’s about building intimacy and experimenting with what feels good for your body. “Sex is the laughing, sex is the dropping something, sex is the awkwardness, sex is the communicating and discussing and doing it and not doing it and fucking around. That is the sex. You want to find a partner that can do all the sex with you,” says Paige.

For more on anal sex toys, head here.