“Euphoria” and “deflated”: 17 FJ readers on how they feel after orgasming

“I’ll have a super intense orgasm, and then immediately burst into tears.”

After the intense mental and physical build that comes with an orgasm, it’s not unusual to feel clearer after climax. As Urban Dictionary defines it, ‘post-nut clarity’ is “the immediate clear-mindedness or soberness an individual gains after orgasming”. But ‘clear’ isn’t an inherently good or bad feeling.

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Some people feel smooth-brain, body-loving bliss, while others report increased anxiety and feelings of vulnerability after orgasm. Below, 17 Fashion Journal readers share how they feel after orgasming.

Mina*, 21, she/her

More confusion than clarity. After most orgasms, I think to myself ‘What is all the fuss about?’. I’m dodging thoughts of ‘What did I do wrong?’ and ‘Why did it fizzle out so quickly?’ (I can only orgasm from solo play). The climax always seems more fun. Then, rarely, I experience an extreme lightness in my body and my mind is relaxed and is like jelly. My male sexual partners often describe their post-nut clarity. Perhaps it’s a gendered thing.

Samantha*, 21, she/her

I still feel a little shame, probably because it gets messy. Then super tired. I’ve only ever done it with one person, all the other times were with myself. I felt better about it when I was with someone else and it happened because I received reassurance and affection.

Corinne*, 28, she/her

[I feel like I’m] back to square one. Post-nut clarity is very real. I can come back a bit later with clit play, but it hits differently for sure. I experience post-nut clarity inequality… the other day, my partner came first (rare) and it felt so strange knowing that he was in post-nut clarity and I was asking for more. Usually, it’s the other way around.

Margaret*, 25, she/her

It depends on the orgasm! During sex with a partner, some are super quick and I can keep going (once had up to 15 [orgasms] in one session!). I can come from penetration, which is such a blessing (sorry!). During others, I need a breather! If I’m masturbating, I will usually be super sleepy.

Anna*, 25, she/her

I feel a sense of relief almost. This tense feeling is gone… kinda like cracking your back and finally getting that one area.

Su*, 27, she/her

[It’s] maybe not post-nut clarity per se, but I have been doing this thing for the past year or so where my boyfriend will be giving me head, and it’s gone for ages and all this tension has built up, then I’ll have a super intense orgasm, and then immediately burst into tears.

I’m not crying because I’m sad, it’s just like a massive release. Like I do a pretty stressful job and don’t give myself many outlets for stress, so all of a sudden I’ll have this massive orgasm and it’s like my whole body finally lets go and relaxes and I’m crying because I’m almost relieved. It’s very surreal but also super funny – like my boyfriend and I just laugh because I can’t stop crying. But hey, if that’s the price for a good cum, that’s fine by me!

I had sex with a tonne of people, but never started orgasming properly with a partner until I was at least a few months into the relationship. Now that I’m in my late twenties, I feel like I know my body heaps better and can cum way easier. Also, it helps to have a partner who you are super comfortable with and who will put in the hard yards to make you cum – and even squirt. It must be impossible to cum with someone you are not even comfortable with, to begin with.

Nina*, 30, she/her

[I feel] clear and also a sense of relief and ease. Orgasm only happens [when I’m] by myself.

Shashi*, 24 she/her

I would like to, but this vulva doesn’t want to. It sucks that I can get my partner to [orgasm] but then after a while, I have to tell him “Yep that was nice, thanks for the effort”.

Enid*, 33, she/her

[I feel] kind of deflated and down.

Lucy*, 25, she/her

With casual hookups, I felt super relaxed for maybe five minutes then I start thinking ‘Okay, what’s next or how do I/they leave?’. But with my current partner, I’m in a complete state of euphoria and feel like I’m floating on a love cloud (I’m disgusting, I know).

Jack*, 38, he/him

Yes. If I’m by myself, there will be a feeling of guilt, ‘Who am I and what am I doing with my life?’ and ‘God is dead’, in varying ratios. If I’m with my partner, my brain melts and I go into a bit of a contentment coma.

Clara*, 16, she/her

Sometimes I feel great, light and relaxed. Other times, if my mind drifted a bit while orgasming, I feel really shit about it and get a sort of negative post-nut clarity.

Faye*, 34, she/her

[I feel] energetically depleted and exhausted. With healthy lovers, I feel lit the fuck up.

Lina*, 17, she/her

I definitely do [feel post-nut clarity] and most of the time, it’s not a good feeling. It’s me feeling disgusted at myself for what I thought or did and an immediate crash… self-loathing, kind of. Not great.

Em*, 25, she/they

I feel like I’ve seen the other realm of the universe. It makes me think Ariana Grande was right, maybe God is a woman. And no post-nut clarity. I feel euphoric but confused sometimes. I feel bad about orgasming, but it may be more to do with my partner than me.

Meg*, 35, she/her

I feel dirty and ashamed.

Victoria*, 33, she/her

I feel like my skin is alive and my senses are heightened… nothing like the feeling of the pulse in your bussy. The sheets feel really good and cozy on my skin if I’m in bed.

I don’t always, but sometimes I do get post-nut clarity, which is a problem if I’m trying to get to sleep! But mostly the feeling is also of being really glad that I can pleasure myself and that I love the body I’m in, which is a lovely thing.

*Names have been changed.

For more on post-nut clarity, head here.