I asked 15 Australians how often they have sex in a week

“I think there is an expectation that you should be having sex every night, or a lot, especially in the early stages of a relationship.”

For most of us, the amount of sex we have per week ebbs and flows depending on the dynamic of our relationships (or the absence of a relationship) and a variety of external factors. Sex can fall off the priority list for a number of reasons, whether it’s a busy work schedule, stress, self-esteem issues or a lack of interest in intimacy and dating.

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On the other hand, a sexy new fling or an exciting new relationship can often heighten our sex drives, making us get down and dirty daily. So, how often are people really doing the deed? To find out, I asked 15 Australians to share how often they’re having sex in a week. 

Zara*, 27, she/her, in a monogamous relationship 

My partner and I have sex six to nine times a week. We always talk about the fact that we both have high sex drives, but they weren’t always so high. We’ve been together for almost two years, and our sex life hasn’t always been so strong. But neither of us is complaining about the amount we are currently enjoying. 

Elijah*, 27, he/him, single 

I’m not happy with the amount of sex I’m currently having as it’s around zero to once a week. I feel like I need that release and intimacy, but also can’t really justify hiring a sex worker in this economy. 

Molly*,24, she/her, in a monogamous relationship 

I have sex around once a week with my boyfriend of 18 months. It ebbs and flows depending on stressors/schedules. Sadly, it has caused some upset on my end because I wish that he wanted to have sex more often. We are looking at going to a sex therapist about it though. 

Sven*, 26, he/him, single 

I have sex two to five times a week. I have a pretty high libido and enjoy the variety and exploration of new and current partners. 

Dave*, 27, he/him, in a monogamous relationship 

I’m having sex six to nine times a week, averaging around two to three times per hangout with my girlfriend. I am in a new relationship, however, I would say I have a high libido. 

Luna*, 31, she/her, in a monogamous relationship 

I’m only having sex once per week. I’m not happy about it, but it’s the best we can do with the time we have. It also depends on the week and our stress levels. I have been with my partner for six and a half years. 

Leo*, 23, he/him, single 

I’m not having any sex at the moment and I’m not happy about it. In saying that, I don’t spend time not being happy about it. I would love to find a partner I could have sex with multiple times a week. I’d say I have a high libido, but it doesn’t force me to ‘go out and get it’. I also don’t underestimate my own company. 

Kendra*, 27, she/her, in a monogamous relationship 

I am happy if we have sex once a week. The pill definitely affects my libido, plus my boyfriend also works shift work.

Jasper*, 40, he/him, in an open relationship

My partner and I have been dating for three years, and have been in an open relationship for the past 18 months. A majority of our open relationship involves swinging, where we get together with other couples and intermingle. I have always considered myself to have a high libido, and while our sex life was solid prior to opening it up, this has added a great new dynamic. And, for the time being, we are both very happy with the amount and the quality of the sex taking place. I would say we have sex two to five times a week. 

Quinn*, 26, she/her, in a monogamous relationship 

My partner and I have been together for seven years and we have sex three to five times a week. We’re both happy with the amount and are communicative when it comes to intimacy. I think I have a fairly average libido. 

Giselle*, 38, she/her, married 

I wouldn’t say I’m happy about only having sex a few times a month. I consider my libido to still be quite high, but the amount of sex we’ve had has decreased year by year. I think that’s pretty normal since we’ve been together for 17 years. We don’t have any kids but I suppose our lack of intimacy is largely attributed to his decreased libido and both being busy at work. 

Ada*, 27, she/her, in a monogamous relationship 

I would say on average I have sex two to three times a week. I do often feel like that’s not enough and that we should be having sex more, even though we’re perfectly happy. I think there is an expectation that you should be having sex every night, or a lot, especially in the early stages of a relationship. We’ve been together for a year. 

Sienna*, 23, she/her, in a monogamous relationship

I’ve been with my partner for over three years now and have always found myself to have a pretty low libido. Sometimes we could go a couple of weeks without having sex and other weeks it’s more frequent. I feel a lot of guilt about having a low libido but it’s definitely something I’m working on being okay with. 

Axel*, 19, he/him, single 

[I’m] lucky to have sex once a week. I wish it was higher but dating is hard and I prefer to make an emotional connection prior to sex instead of having one-night stands. 

Samara*, 26, she/her, in a monogamous relationship

I am in a three-year relationship and have sex around two to five times a week. I am happy with the amount. Sometimes, it increases or decreases depending on how busy we are.

*Names have been changed for privacy reasons.

Looking to improve your sex life? Try these tips.