As an introvert, here’s how I navigate birthday celebrations

“Should I celebrate myself more, or was this normal?”

When I moved schools in year eight, my birthday fell on my first day. In homeroom, I viscerally recall our teacher passing around a calendar for us all to pop in our birthdates. I shrunk in my seat and quickly jotted down a false date to save myself from any unwanted attention. 

I’ve never had a birthday party, and I’m somewhat of an expert at avoiding any sort of celebration. Instead, I’ve planned ‘casual outings’ with a handful of friends, and one year I decided hiking was how I’d like to spend the day. My friend fainted 10km deep in dry bush, and we exited the scene in a police rescue van. 

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It’s safe to say I’ve kept the birthday festivities even more casual since then. Over time, though, I grew rather sad about my own lack of enthusiasm surrounding the day. Should I celebrate myself more, or was this normal as an introvert? 

After having a successfully well-balanced birthday this year, I decided to share my own tips for navigating birthdays as a fellow introvert. So, if you ever find yourself stuck on how to celebrate in a way that feels right for you, then keep reading.  

Plan ahead

This is crucial. If you’re an introvert who hates their birthday, the anxiety of it approaching can sometimes be paralysing. That’s why it’s best to plan ahead (it saves you the prolonged stress). 

Start brainstorming. If celebrating on the actual day of your birthday seems too daunting, find another date. Meditate on how you genuinely want to spend the day, not on how you think you should. 

Keep it small

Just because your extroverted friends are able to throw large parties or gatherings with ease, it doesn’t mean you have to. Gather up your closest pals and let them know you’re planning something in advance. This way they can confirm they’re coming ahead of time, and the anxiety of no one showing up is eliminated. 

Birthdays can also be spent with family. If you’re short on friends, allow your parents or siblings to take the reigns. Often this can be more comforting and easier to lock in. 

Organise an activity you actually enjoy

If you’re not much of a night owl, you don’t have to spend your birthday feeling claustrophobic and sweaty in the back of a club. Let yourself decide what you want to do, and feel okay with having others join in. 

There are plenty of options. This year, I opted for a simple dinner with my partner at a restaurant I’d been dying to try out. Another year, I hosted an arts and crafts day at my house with lots of snacks and wine. 

Workshops and classes are also great options. If you enjoy making clay or ceramics, find a local class close to your birthday and book it in. The atmosphere of having strangers (who don’t know it’s your birthday) around you can also work in your favour. 

Treat it like a regular day (or don’t)

This is optional. If you’re content with spending the day like any other, then that’s fine too. Don’t put any pressure on yourself (it’s not the end of the world, I promise). 

If your ideal day is usually spent browsing op shops and grabbing coffee, then do exactly that. It doesn’t need to be a big ordeal. Spending the day on the couch eating store-bought cake is cool, too. 

Allow loved ones to make a little fuss

This is something I’ve only recently allowed myself. It’s okay for others to make you feel special. I found that once I started to open myself up to this idea, others around me naturally wanted to celebrate my existence. 

Let your friend take you out for that coffee, and even if the idea of having ‘Happy Birthday’ sung to you makes you physically recoil, it’s also sometimes (kind of) nice. 

We all deserve to feel some love on our birthdays. And however this may look for you, remember not to compare how you spend the day to how others do. Everyone is different, and that’s perfectly fine. 

For more ideas on how to celebrate your birthday, try this.