I thought I’d broken up with toxic diet culture, until I became a bride

“The abrupt change of content I was exposed to on social media felt like a direct assault on my self-esteem, a step backwards.”

Picture this: You’re still reeling with excitement from your recent marriage proposal, so you jump on social media to start planning a celebration of your love. Your algorithm, typically filled with art, fashion and travel posts, is suddenly inundated with wedding-related content: gorgeous white dresses, whimsical meringue towers, and… targeted weight loss ads?

This unexpected shift in my feed was alarming. I’d spent years intentionally steering myself away from unhealthy messaging and media, and once again, I was faced with an onslaught of dieting content with captions like ‘Shed For The Wed’, alongside photographs of brides so heavily airbrushed they looked like dolls.

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I was being targeted by fitness influencers selling ‘Bridal Bootcamp’ courses, promising rapid weight loss and a ‘perfect’ wedding day physique. Even local gyms were running ’10 Brides, 10kg’ challenges. Despite the healthy relationship I have built with food and my body, the pressure to conform to these unrealistic ideals was overwhelming. Planning my wedding began to feel less like a joyous celebration of love and more like a race to achieve some Pinterest-perfect fantasy.

The wedding industry, a behemoth fuelled by dreams of happily ever after, has a dark side: it’s a breeding ground for body shaming. This insidious practice, cloaked in the guise of tradition and romance and ‘looking your best’ has perpetuated unrealistic beauty standards that leave countless brides – including myself – feeling inadequate and insecure.

The ideal bride, as envisioned by the multi-billion dollar industry, is slender, flawless (yet makeup-free) and eternally youthful. She’s a mythical creature, a fantasy brought to life, a far cry from the real women who walk down the aisle. 

Women are often subjected to unwanted comments about their weight, their skin and their overall appearance – we already know the damage this can cause. But for a bride-to-be, it’s like these learnings go out the window. We’ve seen celebrities get cancelled and criticised for promoting ‘get skinny’ crash-diets, yet the wedding industry seems to operate with impunity.

Someone who knows all about the pressure brides face before their wedding day is Lulu, owner of Fruitful Bridal, a vintage-sourced boutique based in Sydney. “Women are shopping for their outfit for what should be the best day of their lives and society is telling them that they’re not good enough,” Lulu tells me. 

She highlights the challenges many brides face when shopping for their wedding dress, “Finding your size in what you want is often incredibly difficult, whenever you’re shopping vintage,” she explains. “Most bridal boutiques have just one sample size for all brides to try on, which caters for a very small sample of the population, creating a sense of exclusion [that] can leave brides feeling disheartened and discouraged… Dresses need to be catered for bodies, not the other way around.”.

Some brides are so aware of these pressures, they’re taking active steps to avoid the potentially triggering discourse.  Lulu says she has brides reach out, explaining their past experiences with body shaming in bridal boutiques and asking for support throughout their appointment. 

What I think is really sad about the pressure to conform to these beauty standards is that it takes away from the beauty of planning a joyful and authentic day with your loved ones. Instead, our energy goes towards striving for an impossible example, as shown to us by our social media feeds.

It begs the question, who we are having these weddings for? The Instagram and Pinterest culture we live in has undoubtedly shaped our perception of the ‘ideal’ wedding aesthetic. Not many brides will admit to it, but we’re often more concerned with creating content for our social media feeds than cherishing the genuine moments and memories of our special day.

My own experience with these body image pressures was a wake-up call. The abrupt change of content I was exposed to on social media felt like a direct assault on my self-esteem, a step backwards on the journey of loving and caring for our bodies. It highlighted for me how these insidious messages can seep into unexpected corners of our lives, subtly undermining our self-worth.

I know that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes – this is just another reminder to challenge outdated and harmful beauty standards and celebrate the unique beauty of every individual. By rejecting bridal weight-loss culture and prioritising genuine connection over curated perfection, we can create a more inclusive wedding industry and ultimately, more enjoyable wedding experiences. 

For more on navigating the wedding industry, read this.