I want to buy a sex toy, where do I start?

Buying your first sex toy doesn’t have to be an overwhelming experience.

Stepping into the world of sex toys for the first time can be intimidating. Rabbits, cock rings, vibrators and dildos surround you left, right and centre. There are so many different types to choose from when you reach the stage of wanting to purchase your first sex toy, it can be difficult to know where to start.

What’s going to feel good for you and your body? They certainly aren’t cheap, so you don’t want to spend money on one you’ll hate. If you feel completely and utterly lost when it comes to buying one, despite wanting to, you’re not alone.

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But the land of self-pleasure is worth exploring, even if you’re a little nervous to take that first step. I spoke to the co-founder of sex toy brand Girls Get Off, Viv Conway, and the Senior Product Development Manager at sex toy brand Vush, Caitlyn Smith, to get some expert advice on buying your first sex toy and knowing what’s best for you.

Are there any steps you should take to figure out which toy will work best for your body?

Focusing on getting to know your body is the first and most important step, according to Viv and Caitlyn. Viv recommends making it a part of your regular self-care routine.

“That might mean setting the scene, making sure you might have a bath or cosy blankets, or maybe you’ve got some music on or some nice lighting,” she says. “Make yourself feel safe, and create an environment that will allow you to open up.”

Once you’ve set the mood and feel comfortable, don’t rush straight to touching your genitals. It’s important to get to know your entire body and work up to touching yourself, rather than beelining straight to it.

Caitlyn recommends “manually mapping your body with your hands… There are so many wonderful erogenous zones on the body, and you might find one is much more sensitive than others”.

Where should you start your search and who should you look to for advice?

Viv tells me there are plenty of sexologists who use their social media platforms to spread awareness and knowledge surrounding sexual wellness and self-love. These people are great at providing in-depth, unbiased reviews on an array of toys.

“[Sexologists] also have a wealth of knowledge in terms of different techniques and tactics that might be helpful for someone starting to explore,” Viv explains.

Two sexologists Viv suggests checking out are Australia’s very own Chantelle Otten, and New Zealand-based somatic sexologist Morgan Penn. She points out that sexologists have a lot of experience, and are often open to having a chat and answering any questions you may have.

Caitlyn recommends the Vush blog in addition to following sexologists on social media. Run by the brand’s in-house sex expert, Steph Andrews, there are numerous articles on sexual wellness and learning to use sex toys. She also stresses the importance of knowing which materials sex toys are made of.

“Buying your first sex toy should be a considered purchase. Look for toys that are made from body-safe material like medical-grade silicone,” Caitlyn points out. “After all, it is going inside of you.”

If women or vulva owners mostly enjoy clitoral stimulation, what type of toy is a good first choice and why?

“A great place to start is with a bullet vibrator. Bullets are compact yet powerful toys that are perfect for clitoral stimulation,” Caitlyn says. “Their small size and versatility also make for a great toy to explore other erogenous areas to get a taste for what you like. If you are interested in trying a bullet vibrator, I would recommend the beginner-friendly Gloss Bullet Vibrator.”

Viv says that in terms of clitoral stimulation, the best sex toys provide either vibrating or sucking sensations. Aside from bullet vibrators, clitoral suction toys are another great place to start. These mimic the feel of oral sex, allowing you to go to town on yourself.

“The Missy Mini has got that pulsing action that mimics oral sex. It’s a sucking feeling versus vibrations, which is just like a sensation on the skin,” Viv says. Both types of toys allow you to experiment with different pressures, speeds and settings to find exactly what feels good for your body.

If women or vulva owners prefer the feeling of vaginal penetration, what toy would work best for them?

“For those that prefer internal stimulation, you can’t go past a G-spot vibrator. These toys are designed to stimulate the most sensitive part of the vagina, the G-spot, which we are now learning to be an extension of the clitoral network,” Caitlyn says.

To fully enjoy the internal stimulation experience, Caitlyn says to play with external areas first to excite the body and wake up the entire clitoral network. She also reminds me that “… when exploring with an internal vibrator for the first time, foreplay and lubricant is key!”.

And what if they like a combination of both vaginal penetration and clitoral stimulation? 

Viv explains that toys with the capacity to provide dual stimulation are a godsend for vulva owners with this preference. “One of our toys is called Tiff and she does both, so it’s internal and external at the same time,” she says. “With any toy that’s both, because everyone is shaped differently, it might take a little while to get it into position.” However once it’s sitting right, the experience is worth it.

Caitlyn tells me that for a combination of internal and external stimulation, nothing beats a rabbit vibrator. “Rabbit vibrators will provide you with the opportunity to experience blended orgasms (stimulating two or more erogenous zones at the same time) which are often felt as full-body orgasmic events.”

Are there any other types of sex toys you think are good for people buying their first toy?

Caitlyn highlights that if pinpointed clitoral stimulation or vaginal penetration isn’t quite for you, there are other options out there. One of these options is a wand vibrator.

“Wand vibrators are amazing as they provide broad sensations across any erogenous zone of your choosing,” she tells me. Often featuring deep, rumbly and low-frequency vibrations, these wands penetrate deeper and result in powerful stimulation across different parts of the body.

Caitlyn explains “their versatility makes them perfect for vulva, clitoral, nipple, or external prostate stimulation”. Now all that’s left to do is to go forth and choose the toy that appeals the most to you.

For more on purchasing your first sex toy, head here.