Finally, a chic sex store you’ll actually want to enter: Meet High Tide

“An open space for curiosity and connection.”

When you think of a traditional ‘adult store’, you don’t typically envision warm lighting, smooth wood, tiled counters and artistic product displays. On the contrary, sex shops tend to conjure flickering overhead lights, graphic posters and dusty shelving crammed with boxes.

That’s not to criticise sex shops – but it’s hardly surprising that most customers opt for eCommerce over actually entering one. It’s more reflective of the state of affairs around the time Paige Aubort and Søren first came up with the idea of opening their own boutique adult store, back in 2020.

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En route to a weekend getaway, they stopped somewhere nearby to fetch some supplies. “We ended up buying a $250 vibrator and some lubricant, but had very little understanding of how to use it properly… Mostly because the environment we were in felt like it didn’t facilitate engagement,” they explain.

After replaying the encounter over in her head, Paige started to imagine what it might be like to remove all points of friction, from the awkwardness to the aesthetic, and create something new. When the pair relocated from New South Wales to Melbourne three years later, they decided to look for a site to bring their vision to life.

“We were quite naive to how archaic both council regulations and people’s perceptions of anything adult toy-related were,” they reflect. Despite a few delays and financial setbacks, they officially opened the doors to High Tide in Melbourne’s CBD in 2023.

When designing the shopfront, Paige went outside the box, drawing on places like cafes and bathhouses for inspiration. Inside, the space is made to feel warm, welcoming and open, with considered music, lighting and fragrance wafting throughout.

Unlike most traditional adult stores, you won’t find any graphic imagery at High Tide, nor will you find toys that look like human body parts. Another point of difference is that all of the toys in-store are displayed unboxed on the shelves. “We believe that toys aren’t gendered, and we find that by mixing all the different styles, it encourages our customers to browse and interact with toys they’re naturally drawn to, instead of what they think they should be drawn to.”

At High Tide, every touch point has been meticulously thought of and ironed out, resulting in a chic space that you actually want to spend time wandering through.

Fashion Journal: Hi Paige and Søren! Take me back to the very beginning. Was there a particular moment, experience, or frustration that sparked the idea for High Tide?

When we first started dating back in 2020, we went and stayed at an Unyoked, an off-grid cabin, but en route out of the city, we realised that we’d forgotten to pack any toys or lubricant. So, we decided to make a pit stop and go in search of some when we pulled over to get the groceries. What eventuated was us standing in a store, awkwardly trying to choose something.

We weren’t very educated on toys at that point, so we were feeling around in the dark. We ended up buying a $250 vibrator and some lubricant, but had very little understanding of how to use it properly, how to care for it, all the details, really. Mostly because the environment we were in felt like it didn’t facilitate engagement and education, or make us feel comfortable opening up dialogue with the person working at the time.

Over the coming days and weeks, the experience rolled around in Paige’s mind, and she kept trying to understand where and why the disconnect occurred. Surely, if she had bought a dress of similar value, she would have worked with the shop assistant to find the perfect option.

From there, Paige conceptualised the idea of an adult store that removed all the points of friction she had experienced when buying toys in the past. All up, it took about three years before we moved from Northern NSW to Melbourne and eventually found the site for High Tide.

What challenges did you face opening a modern adult store in Melbourne, particularly when it came to perception, regulations, or finding the right location?

Quite a few! And if we’re being completely honest, we were quite naive to how archaic both council regulations and people’s perceptions of anything adult toy-related were. Thank god for that naivety, though. I don’t know if we would have persevered through all of it, knowing what was to come.

An important fact to know about adult stores is that they come with much more stringent regulations on where you can be located, as opposed to your regular, everyday retail store. Within most (Melbourne) councils, you cannot open an adult store within 200 meters of schools, hospitals, religious places and residential zoning. So, unless you want to be located in an industrial area, it’s going to be really hard to find a space.

After some digging, we found out that Capital City Zoning areas (CBDs) don’t fall under such severe restrictions. Fast forward a few months, and we found an old garage, converted into an e-bike store, on FB Marketplace. A short while later, we did a walk-through, and a few days later, we shook hands and the keys were handed over to us.

The next challenge was coming up against people’s perceptions. When we started renovating the space, we reached out to all the surrounding businesses and residents of the laneway and explained who we were and what our intentions were. It was met with a lot of curiosity, but unfortunately also a lot of misunderstanding, resulting in multiple objections being sent to the council. A part of our application process with the council, to be given a permit to operate an adult store, was that everyone was welcome to write letters of objection or support. If the council receives over 15 letters of objection, it actually halts what could normally be a one-month process for approval.

We received 17 objections (and over 60 letters of support) and were notified the day before we were set to open our doors. We were crushed. We were notified that we could present our case in front of the Melbourne City Council, including the Lord Mayor, to prove that High Tide was for the benefit of the people of Melbourne.

In the end, we had to prolong the opening of High Tide by five months, costing us $20,000 in the process, but the silver lining was that it was such intense pressure that it really strengthened our resolve in the belief that High Tide was something good and should exist. Since then, we’ve made such good friends with everyone in the laneway and just feel so lucky to be part of such a beautiful little community.

Can you talk through your approach to the interior and how the products are displayed?

The thought behind the design of the physical space was always to keep it simple, warm and inviting. The products were to speak for themselves. We wanted to create a space that instantly put people at ease and felt like home. This meant using natural materials such as lime wash for the walls, wooden shelves, real plants, and most importantly, natural and warm (dimmable) lighting.

We really leaned into the bones of the old building we inhabited, instead of trying to make it into something it wasn’t. Paige looked externally for commercial interior design inspiration. She never looked at existing adult stores, but more towards hospitality venues, bath houses and wellness spaces. Another important aspect of the layout was accessibility. We’re ground level, meaning everyone can enter our store (including those in wheelchairs), and even though it’s a small shop, there’s still enough room to move around.

All of our products are displayed unboxed on the shelves, for people to pick up, feel, turn on and explore. The products aren’t displayed by category, brand or price but by colour and shape. We believe that toys aren’t gendered, and we find that by mixing all the different styles, it encourages our customers to browse and interact with toys they’re naturally drawn to, instead of what they think they should be drawn to.

Beyond the overall aesthetic, what other design choices did you make to help customers feel comfortable, curious and welcome inside High Tide?

We removed all branding from the store. We believe good design speaks for itself, so if a product is of good quality, it doesn’t need flashy branding, logos or messaging to convince a customer to purchase it. The lack of brand marketing with toys also means that people visiting High Tide are encouraged to interact with us, to utilise our knowledge, and to help them find something right for them, instead of reading some text on the back of a box.

We removed all graphic imagery – you won’t find photos, posters, magazines or DVD covers of naked bodies. Imagery like that can be super jarring or put people in a state of comparison. We don’t stock any toys that look like human body parts, nothing phallic, nothing that looks like a vulva or mouth. Lighting brightness, music and scent are always being considered and controlled.

The list goes on, but the final one added here is that we intentionally placed the POS counter right at the door. It’s so important for us to be the first point of contact for what can be quite an intimidating store for many.

How did you approach curating the product mix? Can you run me through some of the brands you stock?

We have some rules when it comes to sourcing products for the store: They must be high quality and made from body-safe materials. When we first opened, we went for the ‘basics’, as in the most popular styles of toys, air suction toys, internal vibrators and external vibrators. Once we had that locked down, we were able to move to a more diverse range, both in those styles, but also toys that have much more specific and niche design styles.

There are so many toys at High Tide where, if you didn’t know what it was, you would never consider it, but often we’ll end up talking to people and it’s exactly the piece they were after. We get to stock toys for all genders, sexualities and experience levels, instead of being forced into more of a binary.

We stock a variety of brands, from big premium brands such as Lelo, Womaniser, We-Vibe and Tenga, to more introductory and affordable options like Satisfyer, Svakom and Fun Factory. Also, more niche brands like SVibe, Inya and Njoy. Also, we take so much pride in stocking Australian brands such as Wild Hide and La Libido, which make incredible hand-made leather gear, amazing education companies like Normal and several great local lubricant and essential brands such as Drip, Bruxa, Posmo, Bed Intentions, Tussle and Happie Holl, many of which are female-founded or queer-founded and led.

What advice would you give to people curious about exploring sexual wellness but feel unsure where to start?

Just know that you don’t have to feel brave or completely confident to begin. It’s okay to feel nervous and still take the first step. Try approaching sexual wellness from a place of curiosity rather than pressure or the need to “fix” something.

Personally, we like to think that the act of using sex toys will be a lifelong journey. We grow, we age, our hormones shift, we couple, we uncouple, and all of these things and more will have an impact on our bodies and the way we use toys. Be fluid, be adventurous, be open to possibilities.

Do some research, but pause if you start to feel overwhelmed. Follow writers you connect with, sex therapists on social media, or listen to podcasts that feel approachable. We love Laura Roscioli, Jamie Bucirde, Aleks Trkulja, and G-spot (to name a few).

Lastly, if you’re nearby, come into High Tide and chat with us. You’re not expected to know everything, or even what you want. That’s literally what we’re here for. There’s never any pressure or expectation to purchase anything, just guidance and conversation.

Looking ahead, what’s your vision for High Tide, both in-store and in the broader conversation around sexual wellness?

We would love for High Tide to eventually have its own range of toys. We interact with people every day, we see their wants and needs, and we also come across an incredibly wide scope of toys given our roles, which gives us this niche and wonderful insight.

More broadly, High Tide’s mission has always been to help destigmatise sex toys, sex shops and sexual wellness. We do that every day in-store, through the events and workshops we hold, and on our social media. We really want to highlight the connection between physical, mental and sexual health.

On a community level, we want to keep growing what we’ve started: bringing people together, supporting the industry, and continuing to create safe, open spaces for curiosity and connection.

Keep up with High Tide here.