How crystals helped me connect to my femininity

Getting reacquainted with balance.

I was introduced to the concept of masculine and feminine energy through my interest in crystals. In an attempt to soothe my overwrought and hypercharged mind, I found solace in meditating with them. My favourite at the time was rose quartz, as I felt drawn to its soft pink colour. Little did I know that my intuition was pulling towards it for reasons far greater. 

The lady at the crystal store smiled as me as I nervously placed my small chunk of rose quartz on the counter. 

“Good choice,” she murmured. “This is the stone of femininity. It’s a great place to start. It’s the crystal of love, compassion and healing.”

Not wanting to appear like a complete idiot I smiled, paid for my crystal and went straight home to Google what she had just said. 

According to my Internet research, within all of us are masculine and feminine energies. Masculine (or yang) energy is the energy of ‘doing’. Not to sound too woo-woo or esoteric, it’s the energy of the sun, fire, pace and stress. It’s what we could safely say is the energy of the modern world. 

The world praises us for speed and hustle. It’s desirable to be a ‘boss lady’ bent on world domination and men have always been charged with ‘bringing home the bacon’. 

But this energy is not only present in those who conform to the gender binary. We’re all working, striving, achieving and ‘progressing’ at unparallelled rates. It’s incredible, but also dangerous.

To live in a world that only praises us for ‘doing’ and ‘achieving’ is unbalanced, and means that life now has neglected the feminine energy.

The feminine (or yin) energy is about softening. It’s the energy of slowing down, relaxing, resting. It is inherently creative, compassionate and loving. 

As I sat down to meditate for the first time, with a mind full of overwhelming thoughts and hands full of rose quartz, I thought about how often I allowed myself to stop and rest. When was the last time I went about my day without a schedule or a plan? When was the last time I cried, was open and vulnerable, or unashamedly expressive?

I honestly couldn’t remember. 

For 21 years I had existed in my masculine energy and the world had rewarded me for it. I had achieved many great things: jobs, opportunities, awards. But abandoning the slower, softer, more compassionate side left me as a bundle of anxiety. 

I was entirely disconnected from myself, my pleasure and my joy. 

Just last year, journalist and author Johann Hari argued in his bestselling controversial book, Lost Connections, that contemporary society itself is the cause of the spike in mental health problems.

“These depressed anxious people all over the world, they are giving us a message,” he proposed. “They are telling us something has gone wrong with the way we live.”

Recognising this fundamental imbalance is not uncommon outside Western systems of thought. Traditional Chinese medicine rests on the understanding that disease arrives when the body’s energies are misaligned, and treatment is designed to bring the body back into balance. 

Once understanding this, it was no surprise that the crystal I was drawn to was one of femininity. I kept it with me wherever I went, meditating with it, taking it to work. Whether the stone physically helped me I’ll never know, but seeing, touching and holding a physical manifestation of all things feminine served as a reminder to relax, act with compassion and move slower. 

Crystals and their properties have been questioned time and time again, but their symbolism is undeniable. They exist as powerful reminders to be instead of do in a world that favours progress and achieving more than living and enjoying. 

We can use all the help we can get.