Does wearing socks in bed help you orgasm? I asked a sex therapist

“Unsurprisingly, feeling relaxed and comfortable is the basis for arousal and orgasm.”

Most of us want to maximise pleasure in our sex lives, whether it be alone or with a partner. Now, while the sexiest thing in the bedroom is consent, coming in second place might be lingerie’s dirty cousin: a pair of socks.

Intrigued by the rumour that ‘socks help you finish’ during sex, I asked my friends if they’d ever partaken in a hosiery hookup. The consensus was that folks in long-term relationships kept their socks on up until the last minute. But when it came to casual sex, people told me their socks were usually thrown off once in the bedroom.

For more sex advice, head on over to our Life section.

Knee jerk (or foot jerk) reactions aside, socks may be the key to unlocking stronger orgasms without splurging on a sex toy. Regardless of who it is or how long you’ve known them, whatever partner you’re with should be open and receptive to the idea of better sex.

And yes, the idea of being fully naked with nothing but socks on may seem strange but there might be some science behind it. Determined to get to the bottom of the great socks and sex debate, I asked Sydney-based relationship counsellor and sex therapist Selina Nguyen if the rumours were true.

Hi Selina! Tell me a bit about your background and what you do.

I’m a relationship and sex therapist based in Gadigal Land/Sydney. I work with individuals and relationships and support them in having better and deeper connections to their bodies, to themselves, partners [their] community as well as sexuality. I’m often having conversations in sessions on topics like differences in desire, communication, navigating dating and non-monogamy.

Are you familiar with the ‘socks during sex theory’?

I am! I love it as a great little piece of trivia and it’s so amazing how the brain and the body work in these fun little ways in order for us to experience pleasure.

Have you had clients ask you about this?

No, I actually haven’t, but I’ve thrown it into sessions where clients may be struggling with orgasm and use it as a very basic example of how little changes like that in our experience or in our environment can have a decent impact on how we’re feeling in sexual experiences, even if we’re not consciously registering it.

Have you heard of it actually working?

It’s tricky to measure in the real world outside of a scientific study because there are a lot of variables that have a part to play in an orgasm. It also comes down to the stimulation we’re receiving, how relaxed we’re feeling, if we’re using toys, the way that we masturbate and these are just some of the factors, so you can see how it’d be hard to separate its effect because every sexual experience can be different.

What’s the research behind this theory?

There’s very limited research behind it. There’s been one study in the Netherlands that everyone refers to and they found a 30 per cent increase in orgasm for couples who wore socks over those who didn’t. I haven’t been able to find any other research into it, but the logic behind it is that because your feet are warmer, it frees up more blood to circulate to your genitals which supports arousal [and] genital sensitivity as well as orgasm.

For many folks, there’s also just the comfort factor – maybe you feel more cosy and at ease or maybe you just hate having cold feet. Unsurprisingly, feeling relaxed and comfortable is the basis for arousal and orgasm.

What are some other techniques you can suggest to help people orgasm?

Mindfulness is always my top recommendation. This can look like focusing on the pleasurable sensations you’re feeling in your body, tuning into your breath, closing your eyes if that helps minimise distractions and making sounds like moans or groans that can help release tension. I also suggest exploring different types of touch that can include stroke, pattern, pressure, intensity or positioning. It’s never a one-size-fits-all approach so it’s about finding what feels pleasurable for you.

What do you wish more people knew when it came to orgasms?

That it’s not the be-all and end-all! Orgasms are one of the greatest joys in the world, don’t get me wrong, but we can place so much significance and value on whether we came too quickly, not at all or that if our partner doesn’t, we’re concerned about what it means about us. There’s also shame around what we had to think of or do in order to finish, and there are so many of these negative beliefs attached to a basic bodily function.

You can explore Selina’s work here.