How to incorporate food play into your sex life

Pop your cherry.

Undoubtedly, eating food and having sex are two of the best sensory experiences. So, in the words of Old El Paso, “Porque no los dos (why not both)?”. Whether it’s whipped cream and strawberries or melted chocolate and candy bikinis, there’s something extremely erotic about integrating food into your sexual experiences.

Known as food play, as the name suggests, it’s all about enhancing your sexual encounters by stimulating the often-forgotten sense of taste. While the associated mess of bringing food into the bedroom may be intimidating to some, food play doesn’t always equal a laundry load of bed sheets. Being particular with your food choices can mean minimal spillage – but for others, the mess is all part of the fun.

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Experimenting with different textures and temperatures within your food play falls under the broader category of sensation play. Depending on your preference this can mean anything from sharing a tasting experience with your partner to seeing how certain food feels on different parts of the body.

If this still feels like a foreign concept, picture Samantha from Sex and the City covering her naked self with sushi as an anniversary present to her partner Smith. While I don’t hold the naïve belief that everyone is as sexually adventurous as Samantha, there’s no reason you can’t take a page out of her book.

And if the quickest way to someone’s heart is through their stomach, then food play is something worth trying. We often use a dinner date as a precursor to intimate experiences, so why not do it at the same time? Of course, as with anything, there are certain dos and don’ts when it comes to bringing food into the bedroom. To help navigate the tasty world of food play, I spoke with sexologist Meg Callander to discuss how you can enhance your sexual encounters with food.

Before you begin, Meg suggests considering a number of questions. Asking yourself what you want your experience to be like can help you narrow down how you should approach food play. Do both you and your partner want to participate? Do you want to play with power and control, with one person using food to pleasure another? Or will it be mutual?

The nature of food play can also vary from being purely sensual to more fun and playful. There is no right or wrong answer to these questions but defining your boundaries and deciding what you want to experience will help your experience to be more pleasurable.

Another aspect to think about is the type of senses you want to evoke with your partner. “Do you want to be eating and tasting or just feeding? Do you want to be blindfolded and be smelling the food? Or do you want to be watching your partner put food around their body? Starting to think about those sorts of things is important,” Meg says.

Texture and temperature are also something to consider. You can experiment with hot and cold food and varying textures from slippery and slimy to chewy and rough. It’s all about discovering what you enjoy most.

“It’s always beneficial to do some work to clarify what you want, and what you’re fantasising about or what you’ve been desiring because you’re going to have to talk to your partner about it. So, the more detail you can provide, the more likely they will be to understand what you’re imagining and then be able to consent to it,” Meg explains.

For novices in the food play world, Meg suggests starting simply. “Pick a few foods that are appealing to you then spend time looking at it and smelling it, running it across the mouth, or the lips, or the tongue of you or your partner, exploring the taste and maybe sharing the taste by kissing with the food or kissing after eating the food. You can play with it on different of parts of the body, like on the chest or the belly,” she tells me.

An important part of food play to understand is safety around the genitals. While stimulating the genitals using food sounds arousing, the delicate pH balance of our private parts can be easily disrupted if you’re not careful. To avoid this Meg advises against putting any food or substance that can remain in the vagina and urethra and cause a urinary infection. “It’s good to avoid really sugary, sweet foods around the genitals because sometimes that can increase the risk of a bacterial infection,” Meg explains.

Don’t be disheartened if you’ve always fantasised about penetration with certain fruits or vegetables. Meg assures me doing so is perfectly safe as long as it’s clean and covered with a condom. However, steer clear of putting anything into the anus that can disappear. Meg tells me anal penetration should only be done if your food item has a flared base or something that prevents it from entering the anus too deeply. Skin sensitivities are also a point of safety to be aware of. Avoiding foods that are irritating or that will trigger allergies ensures comfort for everyone involved.

If you’re wondering at what point you should engage with food play, Meg tells me there’s no set time at which food can be incorporated into your sexual encounters. “I don’t like dividing sex up into parts and instead [I try to] see it all as a sexual experience. I think food can be utilised all the way through. We want to normalise having sex that stops and starts rather than focusing on an upward trajectory towards an orgasm and I think food is a wonderful way to invite more relaxed fun.”

Deciding on what foods to use comes down to personal preference and safety. Meg recommends choosing foods that you feel will be enjoyable to have on your body for periods of time. I know I would keep slimy foods at arm’s length but for others that may sound enjoyable. The main thing to remember is that as long as it’s safe, there are no good or bad foods.

“Decide whatever textural sensual experience you want, choose the area of the body that wants the stimulation, and then kind of have fun going through the grocery list and seeing what sort of foods could provide that sort of experience.”

If you’re interested in adding food play into your sex life, a walk down the aisles of Coles will undeniably become a much more exciting experience. I know I’ll never look at cucumbers the same way.

For ideas on what foods to incorporate into sex, head here.