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Bamboozling ghosting stories from Fashion Journal readers

WORDS BY IZZY WIGHT

“You know what’s more embarrassing than being broken up with? Having to chase someone down so they’ll break up with you.”

These days, you’d be hard-pressed to find someone without a ghost or two in their dating history. In the era of online dating, it’s alarmingly easy to cut all contact with our romantic prospects – but as any ignored dater knows, it can be agonising on the receiving end. Traumatic, even.


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Whether it’s a one date-wonder or a figurative bucket of ice water on a budding four-month romantic flame, getting ghosted is an all-around bewildering experience. While we may never understand the psyche of those who do it, we can at least commiserate with our fellow ghostees. Below, six Fashion Journal readers share their ghosting stories.

May*, 27, she/her

I slept with a guy I met out one night randomly. He asked me on a date a week later and we locked it all in. Then the day of, I messaged to confirm before realising he’d blocked me on all social media. He was the one who messaged me! I texted him to say he was shady and rude and he didn’t reply. Flex Mami has an interesting theory that ghosting is the least cruel thing you can do because it eradicates all hope. I tend to agree. At least I can hate my ghosters instead of pining over them.

April*, 25, she/her

Around four years ago, I matched with a guy on Tinder that I’d seen out before and thought was cute. He was nine years my senior, which made me a little nervous considering I’d only ever dated people my age. My apprehension dissipated once we started chatting; he was sweet and funny and super charismatic.

We went on a date, hit it off and continued to hang out for the following 48 hours straight. Both of us called in sick to work and commenced our whirlwind romance. We swapped stories, cooked together, slept in, walked his dog and I met his housemates… it felt very intense, very quickly. After returning to our regular lives we started dating exclusively, with him being the one to initiate the ‘I’d prefer we didn’t see other people’ conversation.

He’d warned me that he was going on a holiday to Canada with his best friend for a few weeks, a trip that was slated for around the three-month mark in our relationship. I didn’t think much of it but did give him ample opportunity to put a pause on the whole monogamy thing if he wanted to sleep around during his vacation. In retrospect, there must’ve been some red flags – why else would I say that? The memories are a little patchy.

You can probably guess what happened next. He told me he’d call often and message me as much as he could. Aside from a few photos at the very beginning, I didn’t hear from him while he was away. I knew the date he was getting back and followed him on Instagram, so was unashamedly waiting for when he announced his arrival in Melbourne.

I remember crying (ugh) in my room after it’d been a week since he’d been back and I’d heard nothing. I asked him to get a coffee and he didn’t respond. Eventually, I got angry – really angry – and sent him a furious paragraph detailing how he’d made me feel stupid and gaslit; asking him why he’d duped me into a monogamous relationship just to pull a Houdini after his dumb little holiday. He (unsurprisingly) never responded, so I blocked him on everything to avoid the heartache. I’ve seen him around since and he’s pretended to not know who I am. His hairline is receding dramatically, which makes me feel a little better.

Oriana*, 23, she/her

We’d been seeing each other for about a month, hanging out every couple of days, we were talking about getting serious, the future etc. He suddenly turned cold, and a few days later, blocked me without any warning. My best friend saw him a week after he started getting distant walking with another girl. He’s had three girlfriends since I was seeing him. Boys are losers!

Zuri*, 27, she/her

We met on a dating app and had instant banter, so arranged to meet up. It was hands-down the best date of my life. We had way too many drinks and an equal amount of laughs before ending up back at his for a rooftop dance-off and a cheeky sleepover with very little sleep. The boy love bombed the shit out of me.

We talked about how we both rarely dated but somehow felt like we’d known each other for ages, how it was super organic and we instantly clicked (all the usual lines). He was interstate over the summer but we spoke over calls and texts for three months, day in and day out. Once he moved back he suddenly stopped replying. Sick one bro. Never saw him again. My girlfriends send me snaps of his profile on dating apps so he’s still doing the rounds (and likely love bombing the shit out of others).

Niamh*, 26, she/her

I met Jack* late last year during the Sydney lockdown. We matched on Hinge and decided to do the classic park-and-beers meetup to assess if either of us was psycho or Liberal. We clicked, ended up back at his place, ate some pizza and I stayed over. After that first date, it all moved pretty fast. On Mondays he’d come to trivia with my housemates – they loved him. On Saturdays, I’d go to the place he shared with his sister. I didn’t particularly love her.

By the second month of dating, we’d planned a weekend getaway to his family home in Albury. On the trip, we went bushwalking. Within the first hour or so it started to rain, and we got very, very lost. Somehow though, after hours of searching, we managed to find the trail and make it safely home. We’d accomplished our first weekend away and I’d decided I was in love. Plus, it seemed reciprocated.

At this point, we’d been together three months, so I decided to double-check that we were exclusive. He said he didn’t want to sleep with anyone else, but would he get back to me in “two to three business days”. I knew it was a strange thing to say, but I left it… I was going to the US for Christmas and we’d figure it out when I got back.

The night before I left, I hosted a dinner at my house with all my family, friends and Jack. To my surprise, he introduced himself as my boyfriend. The next morning I gave him his Christmas present. It was an engraved compass that read ‘In case you ever get lost again – Love, Niamh’.

Ironically, after I gave him that compass… he did get lost. So lost that he vanished out of my life altogether. Jack didn’t contact me at all after I left for the US. After a few failed attempts on my end, I sent him a message saying I was worried and wanted to know if he was okay. He said he’d gotten sick and had been quite depressed while recovering, so I decided to give him some space.

We went for a drink the day after I got home. The time together was short, but he kissed me goodbye and asked to see me again on the weekend. Saturday rolled around and I messaged him – no response. On Sunday I called – no answer. Monday, I called again, no answer. A week or so later, I finally got him on the phone, and he agreed to meet me the next day to talk. An hour before, he cancelled. We rescheduled and he cancelled that too. I called or messaged every other day for about three weeks until finally I sent a message basically saying he’d hurt me, I’d cared for him, goodbye and good luck. I got no response.

Do you know what’s more embarrassing than being broken up with? Having to chase someone down so they’ll break up with you.

Sheeva*, 28, she/her

I was dating this guy for nine months before he eventually broke it off. He couldn’t commit to a relationship, despite telling me he loved me and introducing me to all his friends. We decided to stay friends and hung out every now and then. We had plans to go to dinner and that week he ghosted me – unfollowed on social media, the whole deal.

I later found out he had a girlfriend and had been with her the entire time we were dating. She’d found out he’d been secretly messing around, so he’d cut ties with me to win her back. I know this because they had an on-again, off-again relationship and he’d slide into my DMs like clockwork every time they broke up. He’d apologise to me only to ghost me again when they got back together. Ghosting sucks. Just be honest with people.

*Names have been changed

For tips on moving on after getting ghosted, head here.

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