Hometown FOMO: How 3 Australian creatives are managing the unexpected side effect of moving overseas

“Sit in the feeling and know that it just means you have love for your life back home, and hold excitement in your heart to one day return.”

Relocating to a new city, I knew homesickness was a given. What I didn’t anticipate was the overwhelming fear of missing out that would quickly join the party as life inevitably continued back home. Some might package homesickness and FOMO as one and the same, but experience has shown me there’s a definite difference between general longing for familiarity and sadness for moments you’ll miss. 

We can’t press pause on the milestones, birthdays and important celebrations among those we love. But it’s the absence of spontaneous nights with friends, family dinner table conversations and casual hangouts that are most felt. As it turns out, the novelty of a new local watering hole or new ‘hot girl walk’ route doesn’t quite offset those all too frequent pangs. It’s a messy package of nostalgia, love, sadness and even guilt, creating a unique, self-inflicted brand of FOMO. 

Interested to hear how others navigate the world? Head to our Life section.

Realising we can’t be everywhere we want to be is a harsh reality of setting up a life away from home. Not having my nearest and dearest in a driveable radius is the cost of chasing life elsewhere, but knowing that doesn’t dim the pain of skipping moments, big and small, back home. 

For me, hometown FOMO first manifested in late-night TikTok searches for advice on making friends in a new place. It then surfaced in the form of delayed RSVPs to events back home. Perhaps most of all, it looked like guilt for being homesick when you’re also smitten with exploring new opportunities in new postcodes. 

Being able to reconcile those feelings with the desire to experience life elsewhere is no small feat, so I sought solace, tips and tidbits from three expats. From moving during a particular season to maintaining routine to practising being present, there’s a hometown FOMO antidote for everyone.

Belle Perez, Head of Social and Creative at The Know Media

From Bendigo to London

My version of FOMO is less FOMO by definition, and much more mundane. I miss the day-to-day. The lowkey family and friends dinners, playing with my nieces and nephews, and seeing my best friends going through their first pregnancies, just to name a few. That’s what I yearn for the most. 

Obviously, the big life events are hard to miss, but I’ve been lucky enough to be able to travel home to attend most of those. I find the smaller, seemingly insignificant moments are actually the most challenging for me. So you could say that it’s a constant subtle ache, which is maybe worse than the effects of a single instance of FOMO, but I do believe it’s all part of the experience. 

Being away from home is definitely not a long-term situation for me, so I can also deal with all of these feelings by trying not to dwell on what I’m missing and being present in where I am and why I’m here. At the end of the day, I could be home and not missing anything, but then would I be longing for new experiences in a new city? The answer is yes, and I can’t have both. With that always in mind, I live for the moment that I’m in and know that all of my beautiful family and friends will be there to squeeze me tight when I return.

@belleperez_

Cameron Gibson, content creator

From Melbourne to London

I’m somebody who values comfort over most things, so at this early stage in my travels, the particular feeling of missing out that I’m experiencing is for homely things rather than social [experiences]. I knew that that would be the hardest thing for me when moving away, so I made sure to bring things that felt like home: my own pillowcases and pillow spray, for example.

This has helped, but after a month in Italy of burning hot nights in unfamiliar beds, I have to admit that seeing my friends at home in their Oodies is giving me huge FOMO. Of course, last winter, when I was freezing in my Oodie I wanted nothing more than the bright warmth of a Euro summer.

It perhaps helps that it’s winter back home, as I’m not being inundated with posts of my friends’ fun summer activities. Of course, social media inevitably breeds FOMO for anything I’d have been a part of had I been home. Maybe it’s obvious to say, but that FOMO is worse the less social I am here. I’ve been so lucky to have made friends in London already, and I have social media to thank for that. When I began posting about my move over, the DMs started trickling in from other girls new to the city and looking to make friends. 

What has helped me the most is to try not to change the key elements of my daily life too much. I’m already in an unfamiliar setting surrounded by unfamiliar people, and to also completely switch up how I fill my time would be way too overwhelming. So I still wake up and have the same morning coffee, I still go out for nice food, see movies, visit bookstores and have lazy days, and I still spend my evenings reading and watching TV. 

Having FOMO for life back home is perhaps inevitable, but it’s part of the challenge of moving abroad [and] long-term travel. Sit in the feeling and know that it just means you have love for your life back home, and hold excitement in your heart to one day return.

@slaggy_lindsay

Caitlin Emiko, TikTok strategist

From Melbourne to New York City

I’ve been super lucky coming to NYC in the peak of summer, which has probably assisted in reducing any feelings of FOMO as winters can be brutal in Melbourne. I’ve definitely had moments of missing both close friends and family back home, so my Facetime log is quite embarrassing. This goes hand in hand with my job, but a lot of my friends and family request content on TikTok, so I post weekly recaps about what I get up to in NYC. A lot of them say [it] makes it feel like I’m not even gone as they can watch what I’m doing practically 24/7.

I think the biggest thing is mindset when it comes to moving abroad. There is, of course, a purpose in meeting new people, networking and really making the most of your time in a new city. Having this mindset has allowed me to recognise that missing all my loved ones back home will be worth it in the long term for both life experience and work.

@caitlin.emiko

Looking for more advice about moving overseas? Head here.