Investigating ‘monkey branching’, the latest toxic dating trend

Monkey see, monkey please don’t.

I’m in a committed, multi-year relationship and let me tell you, when I look around at the state of dating in 2025, I feel like I caught the last chopper out of ‘Nam. It’s truly bleak out there.

Men are using dating apps to trap a tradwife who will clean their homes, cook their meals and bear their children (and, ideally, never have an opinion or vote). Meanwhile, some women are responding by demanding ‘high-value men’ who offer lavish gifts and monetary incentives, long before a ring is on their finger. 

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As a result, we’re rapidly backsliding into an era that, frankly, makes me a little uncomfortable. But some of us seem to be going back in time even more dramatically, back before humans evolved from our primate ancestors. We call these ‘monkey branchers’.

Last week, the FJ team started discussing the term ‘monkey branching’: the act of seeking and securing another partner before ending your current relationship, kind of like how a monkey tests the stability of a new branch before releasing its grip on an old one. 

While it may be a strategic move on Love Island, is it a valid way to move in and out of real-world relationships? You don’t need to read far into the article to get our answer: No. We were all in agreement that monkey branching is shady at best, downright cruel at worst.

Monkey branching perpetuates the idea that people are disposable, as is evident in modern dating culture, where you can meet and ghost with the click of a button. But just how unforgivable is it?

Nature or novelty?

According to psychologist Callista Goh, monkey branching may potentially be explained by evolution. Early nomadic humans were forced to follow migrating animals and seasonal plants due to a lack of stable food and resources. 

“The same goes for mates,” she says. “If an early human wasn’t satisfied with one partner, they may have been more likely to seek out another, while keeping the original around as a backup plan.”

However, we can’t entirely place the blame on our Stone Age ancestors. Callista tells me that, as with most relationship problems, attachment style plays a major role in the temptation to monkey branch. Those with a disorganised or avoidant attachment style are more likely to swing from one relationship to another.

Once in the habit of monkey branching, it can be hard to kick it. “The novelty and the high of a new relationship can be addictive, especially when someone feels stuck or bored in a long-term relationship,” says Callista.

Monogamy vs. polyamory

There’s a bit of confusion around whether monkey branching is just the standard post-relationship rebound of a serial monogamist or the simple selection of a new partner by someone in a poly relationship. The truth is, it’s neither.

Within monogamy, monkey branching aims to secure a partner who may be a better fit, often long before getting to the post-breakup rebound stage. It’s much more akin to cheating than rebounding. But how does monkey branching differ from simply adding a new partner to a non-monogamous relationship?

Per Robyn Alesich of Sister Wives, a polyamorous dating app, the Australian poly community has been rapidly growing in popularity over the last few years. However, alongside the rise of non-monogamy, Robyn has also noticed monkey branching becoming a toxic trend within the community. 

“Monkey branching in polyamorous and monogamous relationships can be different,” explains Callista. “In poly relationships, the primary partner may not be meeting the monkey branchers’ needs and, in response, the monkey brancher may reorganise the relationship ‘hierarchy’ in their head.”

While a polyamorous monkey brancher may not ditch their original primary partner, their unspoken reorganisation of the relationship hierarchy can lead to pain, confusion and a toxic relationship dynamic.

“In polyamorous relationships, the main issue with monkey branching is avoiding transparency,” Robyn says. “When new relationships are formed without clear boundaries, it stops being ethical non-monogamy and becomes a way to sidestep difficult conversations.”

Who monkey branching hurts

It goes without saying that monkey branching can cause psychological damage to the partner on the receiving end. The insidious nature of monkey branching leaves former partners feeling betrayed, which often leads to deep trust issues in the future. 

New relationships will almost certainly be plagued by monkey branching, too. Without processing their previous relationship as a single person, monkey branchers carry the unresolved baggage from their most recent relationship into their new one.

In the end, however, it’s the monkey branchers themselves who will suffer most. “If you are in a relationship and are tempted to monkey branch, it’s important to understand what needs are not being met,” says Callista. “This is the ‘missing piece’ that’s driving this behaviour. Your needs will never be met until you can identify them and psychological therapy can help.”

Monkey branching is inherently problematic because it’s the antithesis of open communication in a committed relationship. Chances are, as an avoidant or disorganised person, monkey branchers may struggle to communicate their needs. When those needs aren’t met, they look for a new partner, and so goes the endless cycle. 

In Robyn’s experience, monkey branchers often don’t realise the impact their actions have on themselves. She explains that repeatedly overlapping relationships can prevent emotional closure and reinforce avoidance-based coping mechanisms, ultimately deepening the insecurities that drive their behaviour.

“People who monkey branch may feel guilt and shame upon reflecting upon their past actions,” Callista agrees. “This can perpetuate feelings of low self-worth and patterns of self-sabotage.”

So, what’s the solution to monkey branching? Ultimately, it’s all about respect – being open to sharing your needs with your partner, being receptive to hearing theirs and always trying to see things from one another’s perspective.

For more on identifying toxic dating habits, head here.