Why moving out at 17 was the best thing I did for myself

“I’ve lived my whole life worried about the validation of other people but by being alone, I learnt to love myself.”

Moving out of home is something most of us will face at some point in our lives. No matter what age you are, it’s something that’s daunting at first and takes courage to do. But speaking from experience, moving out of home at 17 was one of the best things I’ve ever done.

After graduating high school, when faced with the question “What are you going to do with yourself?”, we’re almost forced to make a decision about our future at that given moment. It’s as if our answer to that question is going to define who we’ll be and what we’ll do for the rest of our lives.

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Although we shouldn’t be expected to know the answer to this at such a young age, I’ve luckily always been relatively sure of who I wanted ‘future Liv’ to be. To put it quite simply, Carrie Bradshaw. 

Why I decided to move

I’ve had a fortunate life. I’m surrounded by people who love me unconditionally and I was privileged to go to a great school. I’ve been given so many opportunities, and for that, I’m forever grateful. When I made the decision to leave, many asked “Why on earth would you move so far away?” Put simply, I wanted to pursue a degree in fashion. 

It was for myself, mostly. When I was young, I asked my mum why she moved from the small country town where all of our family still lives. She said, “Would you really want to die in the same town that you were born in?” This has forever stuck with me. The world is big and life is short. Why would I not go out and experience as much as I can at a young age? 

Once I’d committed to the idea of moving to Melbourne and really started looking into living arrangements, a job and everything that comes with moving out, the reality set in. Although I’m fortunate enough to receive help from my family if needed, my pride is something that still stands in the way of that.

I understand that given the current economic climate, living alone is something that will be out of reach for a lot of young people. Living with housemates is something that can help with the financial stress, particularly if you move into a fully furnished home. Before moving, I worked full-time helping to manage two retail stores, which was great for saving and allowed me to have a pretty good foundation before leaving. 

The financial side of it was the element that had me stressed. Luckily enough, I was visiting the city about a month before I moved and saw a store advertising for a job position, which I got. I will be forever grateful for this opportunity and my manager specifically – she’s now the older sister I never had. 

The first couple of months being here were a bit of a blur. I fell into a boring routine and didn’t spend my time exploring the city as I should have. It just felt as though I was simply plodding along and doing nothing with my life besides studying and working. But during this time, I grew a lot as a person. 

I spent a lot of my time on my own, and I’m glad I did. I’ve lived my whole life worried about the validation of other people, but by being alone, I learnt to love myself. Not for anything I’ve achieved, just for me. This subsequently improved my confidence levels, which made my entry into adulthood less challenging.

When it becomes worth it

Once I’d spent a good six months out of home, I really started to enjoy life. By the time I was finally 18, I felt super confident in myself. I’m now organised with my university studies, I’ve built relationships with the most amazing people, I have a job I love and have so many connections with those also working in the fashion industry.

I’m a pretty socially anxious person and in settings where I don’t know the people around me, I tend to be quite awkward. However, before I moved, I promised myself I would overcome this fear. Now I know meeting new people is scary, but you have to make the effort. I mean seriously – what’s the worst that could happen? If I hadn’t done this, I can guarantee I’d be a very lonely girl right now. 

I also suggest saying ‘yes’ to every opportunity presented to you, even if you haven’t figured out the logistics. If it doesn’t work for some reason, just be honest with the person. I’ve volunteered at a few events now and because of this, I’ve built relationships with other creatives based in Melbourne, which has helped with foundations to set up my career. 

The last thing I can suggest is to be patient. Let what is meant to be, be – don’t put pressure on things. I know that you’ll want things to be perfect right from the start – your studies, your job, your friendships and relationships – but just focus on yourself and your goals. Subconsciously, you’ll attract what’s meant for you. 

It’s true what they say – good things come to those who wait. I’ve genuinely never been so happy in my life and it’s simply because I took the risk and moved to a new city on my own. So whether you want to live your Carrie Bradshaw fantasy like me or are simply a young teen wanting a change, in my experience, moving out will be one of the best things for you (especially before you move into adulthood).

For more tips on moving out, head here.