I tried orgasming my way to better skin and it actually worked

Chasing the O-glow, for real.

Laura Roscioli is a sex writer based in Melbourne. She feels passionately about making sex (and the conversations around it) more accessible, approachable and open. She also believes that the best learnings come from lived experience, and she’s here to share hers with you each fortnight on FJ alongside other musings, experiences and questions. You can follow Laura on Instagram at @lauraroscioli.

I had really bad skin when I was in high school. So much so, that I begged my mum to put me on this super strong medication to clear it, despite the horrific side effects. There’s nothing more frustrating than having skin that won’t clear when all you want is for people to fall in love with you. 

The kind of acne I had was hormonal. I know this now because I sometimes still get pimples when I have PMS or throughout my period. Also, I have oily skin, which I now know responds better to oils and serums than a cream moisturiser. But as most of us know, there’s more to better skin than the products we use.

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The condition of our skin is heavily linked to our hormones and our hormones are linked to our emotions, and more specifically, our sex lives. This got me thinking: does having good, healthy and emotionally fulfilling sex lead to clearer skin? 

Recent research from sex toy retailer Lovehoney (that recently opened its first pop-up Orgasmic Skin Clinic) says yes. According to their survey, 73 per cent of people reported a post-orgasm glow, while 37 per cent actually reported clearer skin. 

“A fulfilling sex life has benefits that extend far beyond the bedroom, it directly impacts our overall mental and physical health, and even our skin,” says Lovehoney sexologist, Christine Rafe. 

When I think back on my high school years, where none of the sexy things I engaged with were fulfilling or satisfying and my anxiety levels were at an all time high, it’s not surprising my skin was struggling. Not to mention the hormonal changes going on throughout puberty, my body was just trying to figure out what was going on. My insides were stressed and that showed up through my skin (and bad attitude, according to my mum). 

While I can’t imagine real orgasms are flying about within high-school-age physical intimacy, research shows that orgasms (and pleasure in general) produce some pretty incredible hormones. “During sexual pleasure and even more so at the point of orgasm, our bodies release hormones like oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine,” says Christine.

“Hormones released through pleasure also reduce the production of the hormone cortisol, lowering stress and inflammation. Alongside the hormonal benefits, increased blood flow during pleasure, arousal and orgasm delivers oxygen and nutrients to the skin, boosting cell regeneration and collagen production.”

Well, I’ve definitely been feeling happier and less stressed lately. I’m in love, I’m enjoying my work, I’ve got great friendships, I feel like everything has finally started falling into place. Also, I’ve been having great sex. I’ve had consistently great sex before, but this is different.

It’s different from the fun-but-meaningless sex I’d have a couple of times a week with various people I’d be dating or chatting to. It’s different from the sex I’ve had with ex-boyfriends. This is the first time I’ve consistently had sex that feels like opening up, like vulnerable pleasure. It’s sex that feels as relaxing as it does invigorating. 

Through opening up during sex, I’m experiencing pleasure through an entirely new lens. Before, having ‘fulfilling’ sex meant simply flexing the sex muscles, doing the thing, feeling the emotional release; this feels deeper (literally). The sex in my life now feels like a place where I can be completely myself, without expectation and judgement.

Maybe — just maybe! — that’s why people have been commenting on my skin in the past couple of weeks. I’ve been getting compliments like a pregnant person: “you’re glowing!” and “you’re looking so well!” so consistently that I had to properly inspect my face in the mirror. And you know what? They’re right. My skin is clear, my eyes aren’t dark underneath and honestly, I look somewhat ‘lifted’ without actually lifting anything. 

And I’m not the only one. Abbie Chatfield, who’s famously in the best relationship of her life with Peking Duck musician, Adam Hyde, recently posted on TikTok marvelling at her foundation-free complexion. “I’m losing my mind right now because I’m not wearing any foundation,” she says in the video, showing her flawless skin from all angles. “What’s happening?”.

Although I haven’t talked to Abbie myself, I’m guessing it’s something to do with her sexual and mental health. I mean, she is undeniably glowing. But let me be clear, it’s not because of a man – it’s because she’s in a fulfilling relationship that’s bringing out the best in her. I bet she’s having the best sex of her life, too. Just a hunch.

“A satisfying sex life, solo or partnered, nurtures emotional intimacy and overall mood through the release of hormones,” says Christine. “Stress, on the other hand, has the potential to impact us emotionally and physically through overthinking, catastrophising and becoming emotionally disregulated… Reduced cortisol levels means less stress, something we know aggravates skin issues such as break-outs, eczema and psoriasis.”

So basically, yes, sex is good for your skin and you should do more of it. But not just any old sex, good sex in a space that feels safe and fulfilling. I’m not saying we need to be in a relationship for our skin to look flawless, but for those of us who want to express our sexuality, allowing ourselves to have intimate moments where we can truly let go, be ourselves and orgasm freely will probably give us the best chance of an actual glow-up.

I love that we live in a self-care era. I don’t think we should (ever) stop doing our late night face masks, salt baths and mani-pedis. But I do think we should place a little more value on pleasure and orgasms, whether it be solo or with a partner, in the name of good skin. 

For more on the link between sex and skin, try this.