I only read romance books and I’m not ashamed about it

“I want my real-life romantic relationships to make me feel as gooey and warm as the fictional ones that I love so much.”

The books I read must have one essential element: romance. I’m not ashamed; I relish the way it makes me feel. The butterflies I get in my stomach when two love interests meet for the first time are unmatched.

I attribute my love of romance novels to Hazel’s eulogy for Gus in The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. After completing the book, I yearned for my own real-life, all-consuming romance. Like all good romance books, it made me believe that love can mend the cracks within us. 

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Sometimes this happens by falling in love and creating a life with another person and sometimes it’s through what we learn about ourselves from experiencing devotion, passion and, potentially, heartbreak.

I could probably narrate my entire high school experience based on the Wattpad books I was reading at any given moment. I used to spend hours wondering if there was a world where these characters existed and if there was a way for me to experience a love story like theirs.

While some of my friends were getting boyfriends, I was getting well acquainted with the school library. When I felt overwhelmed by the challenges of growing up, I sought comfort in the fantasy and escapism a good romance novel provided. I didn’t always how to fit in at school, but I took comfort in the fact that I could take refuge in the fictitious arms of the boy next door or turn to my favourite ‘brooding bad boy turned good’ cliche. 

I get it – romance and young adult fiction can be seen as a fluffy, guilty pleasure that exists to satisfy the needs of lonely women craving an escape from reality, dreaming of an idealised love. Or could it just be that this genre embraces the softer, more beautiful elements of life? I don’t see anything wrong with that.

In recent years, the popularity of romance novels like Heartstopper and Red, White, and Royal Blue has proven that the appetite for love stories is alive and well, so it’s no surprise that romance is a billion-dollar genre. As a long-time romance lover, I’ve felt a shift in recent years. We seem to be slowly moving away from the belief that enjoying romance novels is something to be embarrassed about (and thank god for that).

Another reason I adore reading these types of novels is for the way they allow you to live inside other people’s love stories. I can’t possibly experience being in a toxic love triangle, falling in love with a world-renowned pastry chef and being a maid who captures the heart of my master during my lifetime, but through reading romance books I get to experience a smorgasbord of different relationships and futures. I learn from what’s relevant to me and allow the rest to live in the recesses of my imagination.

It’s undoubtedly changed my perception of romantic love and challenged my expectations for the relationships I want to experience. To this day, Breathless by Jennifer Niven holds a special place in my heart; it was such a cathartic reading experience. Claude, the main character, taught me that if a relationship is the only thing you’re chasing as a young adult, you’re giving away much of your power. It’s all about finding balance. No, she doesn’t end up with the guy but she does go on a coming-of-age journey that was incredibly relatable as a 17-year-old. 

Reading romance novels and young adult fiction has reshaped my standards for love. I can confidently say I have a better grasp of what I’m looking for in my relationships. I also know there are an unlimited number of ways I can fall in love (yes, some of them are unrealistic, but it pays to keep an open mind).

I want my real-life romantic relationships to make me feel as gooey and warm as the fictional ones that I love so much. I’m a hopeless romantic, no doubt about it, but I’ve realised it’s not about fixating on what you can’t have. Instead, it’s about pursuing what genuinely uplifts you. And always remember, there’s no such thing as ‘out of your league’.

For more addictive romance recommendations, head here.