I squirt every time I orgasm, so I asked a sex coach for advice
IMAGE VIA NICO UNDERWEAR
WORDS BY Sienna Barton
“Instead of trying to train your body to not squirt, what can you do to make it a more pleasurable, relaxing or comfortable experience?”
Imagine this: you’re in the middle of having really great sex and you start getting that heady feeling like you’re about to have an orgasm, but this time it feels different. It feels like there’s an immense pressure and everything in your body is telling you to release it, so you do.
It’s intense and feels really good, but once the feeling of euphoria wears off, you look at your bed and see that you’re lying in a huge wet patch. You wonder, ‘Did I just piss the bed?’. No, babe, you just squirted! People literally try to train their bodies to do this and yours did it all by itself. Go you!
For more sex talk, head on over to our Life section.
At least, that’s what I thought the first time I ever squirted. It was the morning after a cheeky sleepover at Jamie’s* house and we started the day by fucking on his couch. As lovers of the classics in life, we were in the missionary position – kissing and panting – before we both came.
He collapsed on top of me and whispered “I think you just squirted, that’s so hot”. The rush of feel-good hormones was even better at perking me up than a morning coffee, and the fact that Jamie was into it was the cherry (or froth) on top.
After this first incident of squirting, it became something that happened to me with about 60 per cent of my sexual partners and it occurred almost every time I masturbated. Once the novelty wore off, I started to dread orgasming.
For me, cumming meant having to change the sheets or partaking in awkward conversations with selfish sexual partners. It felt like it had too many annoying chores associated with it, and on one occasion, a boyfriend told me not to cum because he didn’t want to deal with the mess.
Since then, I’ve had sex with guys who’ve been turned on when I squirt, and with the exception of that one boyfriend, they’ve all been really supportive or downright excited about it. Despite this, I still feel awkward about squirting, even if I’m by myself.
When I’m at home alone with my Womanizer Pro40 (if you don’t own a clit-sucking vibrator, you simply must), I still feel annoyed about my body’s physical response to pleasure. As I grab a clean towel to lay on top of my bed, I can’t help feeling like a heroine in a Judy Blume book who’s about to have sex for the first time.
And then, sometimes when I haven’t used a thick enough towel, my sheets end up getting dirty anyway – it can be infuriating! So, in my never-ending pursuit of self-acceptance, I had a chat with sex coach extraordinaire Georgia Grace of @gspot._ to see why squirting was making me so squeamish.
First up, does ejaculation have a ‘purpose’ for people with vaginas?
Whilst research hasn’t fully proven the biological purpose of ejaculation and there is no research to suggest specific health benefits, there are of course benefits to sex, pleasure and orgasm [like] stress relief, pain relief, feeling connected to your body and others [a] surge in feel-good neurochemicals etc.
As someone who squirts but doesn’t want to, is there a way to train my body not to do it?
My first question is: why do you want to stop squirting? My clients will identify that it’s either the shame or feeling like their body isn’t normal, they feel uncomfortable squirting with a partner or want to avoid the clean-up. For many people who squirt, they may try to control their pleasure or refrain from receiving at all.
View this post on Instagram
Instead of trying to train your body to not squirt, what can you do to make it a more pleasurable, relaxing or comfortable experience? Can you lay down a towel or a sex blanket, or have sex in the shower? Speak with your partner about what they can do to support you in feeling comfortable and safe to enjoy the experience, and remind yourself that this is a normal human (and sexy) bodily expression.
Is there a good way to tell your sexual partner that you might squirt?
If it is important to let a partner know because it will help you ease into it, try saying something like “When I’m aroused I squirt – it’s fun and I love it”. It is really common and normal to squirt and many get turned on when their partner squirts.
View this post on Instagram
People with penises ejaculate all the time on, in or around bodies, on sheets, in socks or condoms – sex is messy, it involves bodily fluids. It is vital you do not shame your partner for having an involuntary response like squirting, gushing [or] ejaculating. Rather celebrate it and their pleasure.
Are there any good tips on preventing any mess?
Lay down towels, do it in the shower or bath or have a clean-up method at the ready, or do none of the above and go for it.
*Name has been changed for privacy reasons.
This article was originally published on June 24, 2022.
For more on squirting, try this.
Liked this? You’ll love these...
