Introducing Becuming, the sex toy store with a difference

Meet the business dismantling taboos one sex toy at a time.

An advocate for inclusion, Caroline Moreau-Hammond is vocal about the power of pleasure. For her, sex and sexuality is an important form of expression and one that everyone should be free to enjoy and advocate for without judgment. 

With a background in politics, philosophy, marketing and yoga, Caroline couldn’t be better placed to create a brand like this. Having navigated a period of sexual frustration herself, she understands the influence that ethics, conditioning, shame, gender inequality, access and of course, anatomy, have in our journey to finding our “genuine sexual selves”.

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By this, Caroline means the part of ourselves that “knows what is truly pleasurable for you as an individual, and having the confidence to articulate this to others, without fear and shame”.

Her advice for finding this elusive sexual self? Actively thinking about, questioning and exploring our sexuality “by understanding our bodies, our partners and our boundaries”. This is where her business, Becuming, (quite literally) comes into play. Finding what you like is the first step, but then you can learn how to share this with others. They’re equally important, but quite different processes.

The name of the sex toy store has an obvious meaning but Caroline explains it’s actually a double entendre. Taking inspiration from the Swiss psychologist Carl Jung, who discussed the idea of identity as “becoming your whole self”, Becuming alludes to the way in which the brand wants its customers to feel – wholly themselves. 

Through personal experience and research, Caroline realised that “sex stores are scary and they’ve been scary for a lot of people for a really long time”. Often, sex stores can cater to the male gaze and can trivialise the experience for women.

“What I was observing from a design perspective was a pendulum swing from this quite pornographic style through to really feminised versions [of sex toys], which seem to be the new design convention for the industry… whereas we wanted to emphasise something that wasn’t either of those things, but instead felt edgy and sexy, without feeling sleazy or unwelcoming.” 

While sex stores aren’t a new concept, Becuming’s business model is. The online retailer seized the opportunity to innovate the way sex toys are serviced, offering a personalised subscription based on its customers’ preferences (because when it comes to sex, one size does not fit all). For $50 a month, customers receive three ‘pleasure boxes’ per year, tailored to their experience and sexual appetite. 

Before receiving your first box, you’ll be quizzed on a number of questions – both pertaining to, and outside sex – allowing Becuming to get a sense of the exposure you’ve had to sex toys and what you’re open to trying.

The brand’s ultimate goal is to sophisticate its quizzes to the point of being able to recommend the right toy to suit each customers’ sensory and sexual needs the first time around. But the beauty of Becuming’s model is how it acknowledges that preferences change and our bodies change, and the subscription model is a vehicle to encourage consistent sexual exploration over a lifetime.

More than just a sex toy company, Becuming also provides a range of tools and resources (one being its very own podcast) to educate its customers, because for Caroline, finding her sexual self was “a really transformative experience so I decided that was something I wanted to give other people”. And when it comes to sex toys, unlike many companies, Becuming makes a real effort to ensure its customers are clued up on the toys they own, so they know what can go where, and when.

Through its research, Becuming learned that half of all Australian women experienced sexual distress, sexual dysfunction or low sexual image. Caroline explains that gender inequality shapes the way in which women experience sex and found through user testing that “conversations of sex always defaulted to partnered sex when talking about pleasure” and that women often rely on their partner’s pleasure as a measure of their own satisfaction.  

Whether it be partnered sex or solo play, Becuming has a box for everything. So perhaps it’s time to narrow the orgasm gap and go fuck yourselves, ladies. 

You can keep up with Becuming here.