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The best and most random #IsoThoughts people are having in lockdown

WORDS BY EVA MARCHINGO

Clearly, we’ve all got way too much time to think.

We’re only a few weeks into lockdown and things are definitely getting weird. Twitter is currently bursting with #IsoThoughts of all different topics. Much like shower thoughts, #IsoThoughts are unique, often absurd, and always entertaining. It seems we’ve got far too much time on our hands. Here are some of the best ones floating around the Twittersphere.

Speaking of too much thyme

@timothy_89 wants to know what specific herbs are on Grill’d chips – he’s simply not satisfied with “mixed herbs”. The official response from Grill’d confirmed the theory that dark magic is involved in the seasoning of their chips and also gave us some clues as to what’s not in the mix. Basil and parsley are out, but rosemary is still on the cards. They’ve also confirmed love is part of the seasoning. Some speculation on Twitter has suggested wage theft might also add a bit of flavour.

How do actors get paid?

@JulianHWright wants to know how our favourite movie stars get their big bucks. “Is [it] paid in weekly or fortnightly instalments during filming, or one lump payment at the end??” There are two kinds of payments that usually go on with filming. First is the base-line ‘quote’, which is what is asked for the actor to participate in the film. Second is a percentage of the movie’s ‘backend’, which is the money the movie makes after its release. Some actors will opt for a lump-sum upfront, while others might settle for a mix of both, or even just a percentage of the back-end.

In tune? Which tune?

@cultxlogic took to twitter to ask how musicians knew their instruments were in tune before tuners were invented, “Could we be playing songs today, [which are] correct via sheet music, but the composer’s instrument was out of tune so it sounded completely different at the time”? We asked seasoned session musician Jackson McRae, who said, “I think it’s something to do with physics, like using tuning forks. Or they would have just tuned off one another. If they were going off tuning forks, then it will sound the same.”

Your most attractive feature

@cracker_ryan believes his calves are his most attractive feature, but worries that calves aren’t a feature people consider when gauging someone’s level of attractiveness. We asked sexologist Linda Kirkman PhD for some input. “Isolation is a time where outside distraction or displacement activities are limited. It’s left people to turn their attention to all kinds of things, with bodies and sex an obvious one.” As long as you’re not being critical of yourself, you can explore what Kirkman calls your “erotic imagination”. “Do your best to be calm, thoughtful and kind,” she advises.


Cucumber vs zucchini

@cuznikki is curious as to whether cucumbers and zucchinis are actually the same, and the only difference is “zucchinis have water retention”. Cucumbers and zucchinis are both dark green, the same shape, and part of the gourd family. They are not the same, however. Masterclass has done a whole article on the differences between the two fruits – yes, they are both technically fruits. Turns out there are distinct differences in the plants, nutritional value and aesthetics of both cucumbers and zucchinis.

Chicken kiev

@hashtagcali wants to know how early is too early for a chicken Kiev and, boy oh boy, are we right there with her. As with any food related question – “how long should this go in the microwave”, “will this still be good?” – I asked my mum. “There is no rule book about when you can or cannot eat something. There are no food police out there monitoring your arbitrary eating habits,” was her answer. You may indeed go forth and eat a chicken kiev whenever you please, just as long as you’re not offended when someone calls your eating habits “arbitrary”.

Cut it out

@roseysoho fears she’ll DIY a “home cut and poorly thought out fringe.” We asked hairdresser Samantha Brown of Marita Willet Hairdressing why so many people are currently cutting their own hair, “If they hate it, they are isolated so no one will really see it,” she said. It’s also really hard to do, “almost like cutting it when you’re blindfolded”. If you’re doing it right, your eyes and line of sight should be completely covered by your fingers. “More than likely, you will end up with a very short, very ugly fringe.”

Just kidding around

@GDubignon thinks she’d be more entertained during isolation if she had a kid. Sybilla Marchingo, mother of a four-year-old, confirms the heightened entertainment value of children, “Kids make most things heaps more entertaining. Iso with kids is more finger painting and needing a wine at lunch instead of masturbating and sleeping all day.” But it’s not all play-dough and laughs. There are “hard days where you just need your mum or sister to give you a break or bath your kid.”

So there you have it, some of our favourite isolation thoughts answered. Keeping an active mind is important at this time, so keep thinking up a storm and never stop sharing your #IsoThoughts with the world.

You can see more #IsoThoughts on Twitter.

This article originally appeared on Beat


As you’re no doubt already aware, coronavirus has well and truly taken hold in Australia, and an increasing number of us will be self-isolating or working from home. We’re living through a scary, uncertain time right now, and it’s easy to get swept up in the neverending cycle of negative news. Over the coming weeks, we hope to provide you with a little reprieve from all the heaviness, and lots of ideas for how to fill all that time you’ll be spending at home. Take care out there and don’t be a stranger. We’re all in this together. Love the FJ team xx

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