29 things you can relate to if you’ve ever been on a family holiday as an adult
Illustration by Twylamae
It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
As a child, the notion of a family holiday was as good as Christmas. You’d pack your things and jump in the car (aeroplane if you were lucky) and prepare for the best two weeks of your young life.
Travelling with your family later in life is a little different. Sure, it seems like a good idea at the time, but what usually ensues is a whole lot of fighting, some really bad group selfies and every one of the below scenarios.
1. When your dad makes you show up seven hours early for your flight
2. Watching him then try and convince the airline to upgrade your whole family to business class
3. “If only this was Home Alone 2 and I could sneak off to New York with Dad’s credit card”
4. Trying to convince your parents to buy overpriced airport food, so you can milk this holiday for all it’s worth
5. Flying with an airline that’s not a budget carrier
6. When your parents expect you not to fight with your sister but then make you share a room
7. Accepting the sacrifice because your accommodation is way more bougie than you could ever afford on your own
8. Accepting the fact that you’re still on the trundle bed if you’re the youngest
9. Filming your accommodation on Snapchat à la Catriona Rowntree on Getaway
10. When your dad sets up an Excel spreadsheet detailing your itinerary
11. And there’s always some sort of team-building activity included
12. Complaining to your mum that you don’t want to do said team building activity
13. Getting up at the crack of dawn to seize the day. No sleep-ins permitted because staying on schedule is life or death
14. Being on Instagram photographer duty and having to take 100 candid snaps of your sister at the beach
15. Realising you have nothing in common with your siblings other than the womb you came out of
16. Becoming a WWE wrestler when fighting over who gets the bathroom first
17. Yelling at your siblings when they poo in the hotel bathroom
18. The pain of trying to coordinate more than one taxi/Uber/tuk-tuk
19. Exploiting the cheap conversion rates and ordering an UberBlack (followed by lectures on the value of money)
20. Your one sibling who’s a Debbie Downer about every activity
21. Pretending you’re too sick to go out and then hitting the shops once your family has left for the day
22. Buying the most expensive cocktail on the menu, because you know it’s Mum’s shout
23. Waiting five hours for the group’s lagger to catch up once you reach your destination
24. When your mum decides now’s the perfect time to get your dad a new wardrobe
25. Trying to take a group selfie but your mum keeps putting her finger in front of the lens
26. Fighting for the window seat on the plane home
27. When you’re so close to freedom but your parents decide they want to buy alcohol in Australian Duty-Free
28. Not seeing your family for three months once you’ve returned home
29. When your parents proclaim that was the last family holiday ever
