Weirdly amazing Instagram accounts you need to follow
Illustration by Twylamae
Goodbye, productivity.
Honestly, what did we all do with all of our time before people invented the creepy, weird, mesmerising Instagram accounts of the world? Text our friends? Work?? Spend time with our loved ones???
Here is a wrap-up of the strangest shit that can be found on our favourite *social* platform.
Cash Cats
Let’s begin with a bang. I give you @cashcats, an account dedicated to the hustlin’ felines of a Brooklyn-based cat rescue, bathed in adidas tracksuits, gold chains and piles of American cash.
Drake on Cake
An oldie but a goodie, Drake on Cake is a simple but very addictive concept by @joythebaker that has collected over 200,000 followers. Drake lyrics, designed onto delicious cakes. If there is one question I want to know the answer to before I die, it’s what happens to the cakes from @drakeoncake.
Coco Pink Princess
Coco (aka @coco_pinkprincess) is a seven-year-old style queen from Harajuku, Japan, and she is cooler than any of us could ever hope to be in one lifetime. From crystalised Gucci shades to acid green puffer jackets to skipping rope accessories, she is serving look upon look on her feed. Take notes.
Jess Rona Grooming
If you’re not a monster and you love seeing pics of doggies getting a bath, @jessronagrooming is for you. This LA-based dog-grooming expert will have you feeling all the feels over her tranformations, family photos and videos of puppies being washed to sexy, jazz classics.
Tiny Gentle Asians
As the name suggests, @tinygentlesians is an account dedicated to impossibly cute Asian kids going about their pleasant day, driving their toy cars, throwing tantrums, having their cheeks massaged and drinking milkshakes.
Tinder Convos
You know those Instagram accounts you scroll for hours on end, and before you know it you’ve been fired from your job and grown a beard? @tinderconvos is one of those. I could literally spend all day scrolling through the really weird things people say to each other on Tinder.
Miserable Men
They are the men that fell asleep in small nooks and husband chairs all over the local shopping centre, because they were forced to go shopping with their wife. @miserable_men documents this global epidemic that is men that unfortunately went shopping one day and lived to regret it.
Lil Miquela
Because the future is here, human influencers have been replaced by really creepy robot ones. @lilmiquela is the most Insta-famous robot of them all, amassing 1.3 million followers and doing all the same things real-life bloggers do, like going to Coachella, wearing free clothes and starting beef with other people online.
Bread Face Blog
Giving you something you really didn’t ask for, but you’ll get it anyway is @breadfaceblog, an account filled strictly with images and videos of a girl face-planting various carbs. That’s right, the fun doesn’t stop at your standard loaf of bread – there’s cornbread, cakes, scones, baguettes, muffins with sprinkles, the list goes on.
If You High
@ifyouhigh is the Instagram version of when the DVD screensaver comes on and you watch the icon bounce around the screen for days on end. Littered with thousands of mesmerising clips of spewing lava, bouncy ball avalanches and pasta creations, you’ll know you need to look away, but you… just… can’t.
Subway Creatures
If you’ve been to New York, chances are you’ve definitely had your fair share of weird subway encounters. @subwaycreatures account collects them all and gifts them back to you in one handy feed that you can stalk when you need to boost your happiness levels or scare the shit out of yourself – think a man kissing his pet mouse, or Billy the Puppet from Saw sitting on the subway floor during the morning commute.
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